Birthday in Heaven

John 14:3 “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me that you also may be where I am.” My life radically changed 30 years ago, August 8, the day Elisha was born – and my life has never been the same since the Lord took him to his heavenly home 7 years ago. Every year on Elisha’s birthday, I would throw a huge elaborate party for him to celebrate his special day, not only because he was the coolest kid ever born, but because it was an opportunity to have fun and fellowship with our friends. As Elisha grew older and his disability became more apparent, I realized that making friends would not be easy for him, and so I made it a point to celebrate his birthday by planning a fun day for him that everyone would enjoy. Over the years, we have had ponies, a clown, a petting zoo, which included a cow calf we fed with a bottle, many jump houses, a magician and yes, even a Barney. We would always have a piñata filled with candy and lots of treats for the kids. Each year, I would plan ahead and in his early years we would have his party at a park near our house because there were at least 50 people who would want to come. As he got older, we still had a huge party for him, but it turned into a pool party and barbecue and every year Elisha basked in the glory of his day. He absolutely loved his birthday party; he loved to be the center of attention and he loved to celebrate his special day with all his friends. Now that he is gone, the days leading up to his birthday are difficult for me and anticipating celebrating his birthday is depressing. There is no planning to do, only the reality that I would spend his birthday without him. 2 Corinthians 5:8 says, “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” Now that my child is no longer here on this earth, there is a heavenly homesickness that has occurred in my soul; there is a yearning in my heart to also be at home with the Lord and a longing to join the huge gathering in Heaven. The things that used to satisfy me no longer hold any interest and the only contentment I have found is in striving for excellence, pursuing holiness and laying up my treasure in Heaven. All things pale in comparison to the hope of my ultimate destiny in Heaven, and one day, experiencing the fullness of the presence of God. No matter how hard I try, as long as I am still tethered to this earthly realm, I can only see small and tiny glimpses of what my future holds, but I do know this, the party that awaits me in my eternal home is far more lavish and decadent than any party I could have thrown here in this world. The best part about this celebration is that all I have to do is show up. I’ve been thinking a lot of about Heaven these days and the Bible has lots to say about what our forever home will be like. There will be many mansions (John 14:2), a holy city with streets of pure gold that will shine with the glory of God and its radiance will be like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal (Rev. 21:11), its walls adorned with every kind of jewel (Rev. 21:19) and its twelve gates, each made with a single pearl. And there will be a great crowd, far too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language standing in front of the throne before the Lamb. (Rev. 7:9.) There is more than enough room in my Father’s house and I long for the day when He returns for me and ushers me into His kingdom and I cannot wait to hear His words to me saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matt. 25:23.) Oh, what a party that will be. Happy 30th birthday, my sweet Elisha. Love, Mama. – Melody

The God of Ground Zero

I was surrounded by moms “just like me,” moms whose hearts had been shattered and whose lives had been forever changed by the death of a child, and I was browsing at the book table, when one of the books particularly caught my eye. It wasn’t the title, as much as it was the sub-title, “Life Lessons from a Ground Zero Chaplain,” that caused me to pick up the book and turn its pages as my emotions grew and the memories gripped me, all over again. September 11, 2001, I was sitting in the family room of my brother’s home, my brother who had died from cancer just the week before. I had arrived prior to his death hoping to be of help to his pregnant wife as she tried to maintain her work schedule. For several days, family had gathered, small grandchildren wondering when “Pop-pop” would be able to play again, Mom, who was losing her second son, brothers, sisters, cousins. The younger of the two older daughters had been adjusting her schedule at Morgan Stanley, one of the largest firms in the Twin Towers. Death came on Thursday, and the weekend and Monday found all of us grieving the life that ended too soon. My son had flown in from California to attend the funeral with me, and Monday afternoon, he joined some of his cousins for a trip into Manhattan and stood with them in front of the Towers, thoroughly engrossed with their stature amidst a city of contrasts and diversity. On the morning of the eleventh, emotionally drained, we attempted relaxing in front of the TV. Any calm we had hoped for was stolen by the horrendous reality that began to unfold on the screen in front of us. The newspaper headlines were to read, “Terror Beyond Belief.” Shock. Fear. Trauma. Confusion and chaos. Thousands upon thousands struggled to cope with the unimaginable. And a family chose to grieve for countless and unknown faces while their own sorrow beckoned from an eerie silence. The memories flooded my awareness as I turned pages, and I set the book down, unwilling to choose reopening a reality I was still too close to. But I am not the only one with memories. Mike MacIntosh remembers too. He was a Ground Zero chaplain. And Mike chose to reopen the reality of his own memories to offer the hope and encouragement of a compassionate God to multitudes gripped by their own Ground Zero. He understands that our world can collapse, that the blackness of tragedy can descend, that hope can be snuffed out. But he relived the ugliness, the rubble, the smells, the faces, the pain of tragedy, to offer his God to others. The God of peace. Of strength. Of healing. The God who moves us forward. Sometimes our own Ground Zero begins to recede from the reality of our lives. Time has passed and the demands and expectations of daily living allow us to close off the memories. Tragedy though places our feet on a journey, and that journey continues for a lifetime. And, sometimes, we need to willingly choose to allow God to continue the healing He has already begun. For some, Ground Zero is still clouding our lives with its ashes and its still present reality creates a war zone of existence. For all of us, God longs to give us a reality that pulsates with His perspective, with expectancy, with faith, and with an identity wrapped up in the compassionate God who longs to walk our journey with us. – Bev (Related Bible reading: Isaiah 40:28-31)

Hold Loosely

Hebrews 13:14 “For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.” Chuck Swindoll tells a story when he met Corrie ten Boom at his church. Corrie ten Boom survived the German concentration camp in Ravensbruck. She lost her father and sister who also were arrested. Their crime was trying to save as many Jews as they could from being incarcerated. Pastor Swindoll introduced her to his family. As she looked at his beautiful family, she grabbed his hand. He said that she opened my hand and said these words to me, “Pastor Swindoll, be careful to not hold too tightly to those you love. You must learn to hold everything loosely…everything. Even your dear family. Why? Because the Father may wish to take them back to Himself and when He does it will hurt you if He must pry your fingers loose.” She then let go of his hand and said, “Remember, hold everything loosely.” Corrie was speaking from a heart that had been broken many times. She knew what she was speaking of. To walk through the loss of a child is one of life’s hardest journeys. Yet it is a journey worth taking. God did have to pry my fingers loose and boy, did it hurt. The pain is indescribable. Yet from the moment I held Katie in my arms, it was pure love; it also came with the realization that in the back of my mind there was a fear of loss. As Katie’s mom, my instinct was to hold her tightly and protect her. At the young age of seventeen, I had to surrender her to the Lord. I loved her so much, but I had to recognize that ultimately she belonged to God. As I have aged, I realize many people around me are leaving this earth before me. It is hard to let go. Yet they are headed to a new life that we can’t imagine. To hold our loved ones loosely is not because we don’t care, but because we trust the One who does. – Michele

The Question of Suffering

The Question of Suffering

Why? Why does God allow suffering? Or, the more disturbing question, why does He give or bring suffering to us??? As we search for an answer, there are those so caught up in the question, they dismiss the goodness of God and they may even dismiss God Himself. Others answer the question with an intimidation meant to judge and dismiss the one who questions. But for the one who asks the question with an honest searching borne of life experiences that have gouged gaping holes in her soul, that one deserves an answer as biblically complete as possible. Death and suffering were not inherently woven into God's original intent. We see that when we consider the perfection of heaven, when we consider the perfection of the Godhead, and when we consider the perfection of creation as God originally created our world. Each time God spoke the various aspects of our world into existence, He contemplated what He had done, and He said, "It is good." There was no sin, no suffering, no death. But man did have the freedom to choose, and man chose to sin, and the perfection God created was marred and disrupted, and continues to be marred and disrupted. Satan was the one who tempted, and then man chose, and chose wrongly. God’s perfect creation was broken, set off course from God's original intent, incapable in and of itself of restoring its original perfection. Someday there will be a new earth that will fulfill God's original intent, but until then, our world must live with its brokenness. With the suffering and death that has become ours because of the brokenness of our world, God did not throw up His hands and basically say, “Well, that's the end of that!” Instead, He provides for the brokenness of our world in really three different ways. The most obvious of His provision was the gift of His Son, a gift that has the potential of providing for every man, woman, and child that has ever lived, an eternal perfection within the new earth and the new heaven. And those men, women, and children who by faith, live in relationship with God, their sins forgiven because of Christ's death on the cross, those men, women, and children will one day have and live the perfection God originally intended for them to live. (And if you may be questioning the provision God gives to the one who dies before he can possibly ever understand who God is, God does provide eternal perfection for that one too.) The second way God provides for the brokenness of our world is by the care, the love, the giving, the enabling, the comforting, the teaching, the leading, the directing and the guiding, He gives to those who live in relationship with Him. Satan and man's wrong choices brought the brokenness, but God provides the walkable path through the aftermath of suffering that the brokenness of our world brings. And the third provision God brings is to bring purpose from our suffering, to bring beauty from the ashes of our broken world. It's almost as if God says, “Satan has messed up the perfection I intended, but I will take what Satan meant for evil, for suffering, for brokenness, and I will bring from those things good things that will help those who suffer. I will use the difficulties of life, difficulties that come because of the brokenness Satan brought, and through those difficulties, I will teach those who love Me more about how to live, more about how to give to others, more about what is truly important, more about how to live in a vital relationship with Me, and more about who I am.” So, when we look at the “why” for suffering, we cannot forget that God's original intent was not for man to suffer. We must keep in mind the order within which the suffering we endure finds its expression. The order we must remember is that God intended perfection, then Satan brought brokenness to our world, and then it is God who lovingly works to “redeem” that brokenness by providing for us through His Son, through the walkable path He makes possible, and through the good He is able to bring, even when I experience the most horrendous of this world's brokenness. Most believers try to understand and explain the “why” without considering the order within which our suffering occurs, and when they do, sometimes their explanations sound hollow, and void of a loving and compassionate God. But God's love and compassion are soooo fully there, providing for the restoration of what He first intended. – Bev (Related Bible reading: Romans 8:18-30)

Be Still and Know

Romans 8:35 “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head each morning when I wake up, and the one thing I need to do, is to immediately spend time with the Lord. The enemy of my soul is continuously putting thoughts into my head that say to me, “If God really loved you, you would not have all of this chaos going on in your life,” or “If God is really who He says He is, then why did He allow your son to die,” and the biggest one that he whispers into my ear is, “God is not real, none of this is real; He doesn’t really care about you and there is no Heaven.” Even though I am confidently established in God’s love, even though I am a seasoned Christian and have been walking with the Lord for decades, when deep dark valleys come, it is so easy for me to entertain these lies. Satan uses my trials and tribulations to convince me that God does not love me. Satan wants to keep me weak and vulnerable; he wants me to believe I am powerless and incapable of being a threat to his kingdom of darkness. But this scripture tells the truth; there is nothing, absolutely nothing, I can do or that can occur in my life that separates me from the love of Christ who dwells within me. Jesus said we will have tribulation in this world, but He also promised us that He has overcome the world. This passage goes on to say in verses 38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” What our Father is saying to us is there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord. He clearly sets this out in scripture and makes sure that nothing is left out; this covers everything. I need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves me when I am hurting and struggling, when my heart is overwhelmed, when my life has been shattered, when people are cruel and unkind, when I have been abandoned and when I am fearful, when the pain and the sorrow of loving and losing is just too much to bear, that there is nothing in all of creation that can separate me from the love of the One who created me. John 3:21 says, “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” Doing the right thing in every situation, even when we don’t feel like it, will ultimately heal and reign in my emotions. Doing the right thing even when we have been wronged is extremely important for my spiritual growth. It is very difficult to do when I am hurting and wounded, when I am faced with affliction and tribulation, when the world around me is screaming at me, pulling and tugging at me, trying to get me to react and plan a counter-attack, but God has taught me to put in place my new life commandment, the most important scripture in the Bible for me, my life verse which says, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) – Melody

Got a Wish? What do you want?

My childhood home was broken by unfaithfulness, muted promises, abuse, and separation. I grew up feeling very responsible for all the wrong that surrounded me. I was a bad girl, unworthy of love, especially undeserving of God’s love, undeserving of ever being a wife or a mom. The heavy weight of guilt I carried distorted life and my own potential. I learned how to present a person who was acceptable, but my inner person was shredded with guilt and shame, and then, my daughter died. Some of you can relate to my story, and many of you can share your own story of tragedy, loss, disappointment, failure, broken relationships – and then ..... With my own dysfunctional and abusive background, and then, my daughter died, there are two things I always wanted. And your own story may have a strong desire for those things as well. One, I had always wanted A REAL GOD FOR REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL NEEDS.......... As a child, teenager, and young adult, the God I knew about was distant and punitive. Christianity was neatly packaged with its rules, traditions, and well rehearsed beliefs that conformed outward behaviors, but NOTHING TOUCHED my hurting, broken heart. I wanted the closeness of a personal God, whose love was warm and vibrant, who accepted me even with my questions, my emptiness, my pain, and my failures. I wanted a God who understood my own reality, and I wanted a reality of God I could go to over, and over, and over, and know His arms were opened wide to embrace me. The second gift I had always wanted was – HOPE. Hope in my brokenness. Eternal hope for my child. Hope to be able to walk in my brokenness. Hope that my brokenness could have a healing and even, a purpose. I see the God I wanted in the Son He sent to walk a journey on earth before He sacrificially expressed His love for me on the cross making all that I longed for, possible. But as He grew from the Baby in the manger to the wholly man who was still wholly God, He shared Himself with the people who were walking, and living, in the towns He walked and lived in, and many of whom were also experiencing the hardships of our world. Yes, He taught them truth, and He taught them about who He was, and why He was among them. He taught them about sin issues that draw us away from God. But some too were just hungry after listening for awhile, and Jesus responded by feeding thousands at one time. The widow was experiencing loss upon loss. Her husband had already been buried, and now her son, her only son, was being carried to his burial place. But Jesus saw her, and His heart overflowed with compassion. Jesus spoke to the young man, and the young man sat up and began talking, and went back to his mother. Mary Magdalene was taunted, shamed, confused, and literally, possessed by demons. But Jesus cared, and He had a plan and a purpose for her, and freed her from her demons. Can we relate with our own losses, our own hunger, limited finances, or job challenges, or our own insecurities or emotional needs? Jesus cares!! And just like the father of the prodigal son, Jesus will run to us with open arms when we choose to run to Him! The prophet Isaiah encouraged God’s chosen people with these same truths. Why do you complain, .... Why do you say, .... “My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God?” He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Bev (Related Bible reading: Isaiah 40:25-31)

Love Never Leaves

July 2 is the last day I was able to hold my daughter. That was twenty-nine years ago. Not a single day has gone by without her living in my heart. The pain of this loss has never left me; it has just changed its shape. Over the years my tears have changed into being grateful and I have found peace in my soul. I feel so blessed, not because of my loss but because I was chosen to be her mom. Her life, even though it was only seventeen years, has changed me forever. Love has no expiration date and our bond will never be broken. The Lord carried me through days of darkness. Days I never thought I could survive. He gave me strength when I had none and hope when my heart was broken. I have learned that blessings can exist alongside grief. One does not erase another. I thank the Lord everyday for the moments I had with her. I hold onto every memory and I hold on to the promise that we will be reunited. Twenty nine years later I still miss her, but I am filled with gratitude. Her life continues to shine in my life. I will always be her mom and she will always be one of my biggest blessings in my life. Thank you, Lord, for making me Katie’s mom. Even though I only had her seventeen years, it was worth every minute. – Michele