O God, there is no greater service I can render to you as an expression of my gratitude than to portray You before others with my life. My heart is so keenly aware of the magnitude of Your grace – a grace that has forgiven, a grace that has softened memories, a grace that has given purpose and meaning to a life that was swallowed up by unworthiness. And it has been a grace that has miraculously transformed ugliness into beauty, not that I consider myself a woman of beauty, but more deeply, ugliness itself has been given purpose. You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.
O that I would sing exultantly and profusely of Your faithfulness! You rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me. O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you restored me ... You brought me up from the grave, O Lord. You kept me from falling into the pit of death. From the depths of my being, I long to sing praises to You. May my lips and my heart, and every expression of my being, refuse to be silent when I contemplate Your goodness. May the freedom You give to shout or to whisper Your praise be multiplied by those who listen.
I have sensed the fulfillment of my desire, and in the midst of it, I shouted of Your incredible, irresistible, life-changing goodness. But life is not a constant, and its challenges and twists and turns have shaken my stability. When I was prosperous, I said, “Nothing can stop me now!” Your favor, O Lord, made me as secure as a mountain. Then You turned away from me, and I was shattered. And it was then, I cried out to you, O Lord. I begged ... for mercy ... Hear me ... Help me, O Lord. Slowly truth is capturing my spirit. God has not changed. Though I may walk away or be carried off by my own doubts or insecurities or transitions, the living, eternal God is still with me in His unchanging presence.
In the quiet, I see the me that can sometimes want to replace You. The distortion of my praise brings a self-satisfaction, a self-fulfillment, a filling up of my own emptiness. Cleanse me, O Father, and restore the purity of my praise. Grant me the blessing of walking in steadfast, whole-hearted obedience on whatever path You place before me. Your favor never ceases. O Lord my God, allow me to give you thanks forever!
(Related Bible reading: Psalm 30:1-12)
