Romans 14:22 “Happy is he who does not condemn himself.”
There is an old Chinese proverb that goes, “You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from nesting in your hair.” When we are grieving it sometimes feels like our brain is working overtime. We often go over in our minds the should of’s, could of’s, and if only thoughts. It seems we are in the cycle of negative thoughts. Negative thoughts can often become a habit if we let them. These thoughts can become exaggerated, and can soon become destructive.
It is so important that we learn to capture every thought and to try to change the negative thoughts to positive thoughts. I think as moms probably the biggest negative thought is guilt. As a mother and women we are often our worst enemy, often feeling like we have never done enough. When we feel overwhelmed with guilt or any other negative feeling we are struggling with we need to stop and pray. We are not perfect and no one is.
Take your negative thoughts to God and leave them there. We need to forgive ourselves and to understand that we often did the best we could with what we knew at the time. For each of us who for one reason or another are blaming themselves for the loss of their child we need to realize even if we could have done something to change the outcome we cannot continue to second guess life and death. God knew the number of our child’s days long before they were given to us. Negative thoughts are part of the grief process but they should not become a permanent part of our emotions. When we have a negative thought we need to try and change it to a positive before it becomes a habit which in turn becomes our destiny.
There is nothing good that can come from a life that is surrounded by negative thoughts. We can learn from our mistakes and then we must move forward. Paul reminds us in order to be happy we must not condemn ourselves and not let the birds of sorrow nest in our hair.
Lord, we know you forgive us daily for our mistakes; help us to forgive ourselves.
