Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
In the movie The Wizard of Oz, the Tin Man felt there was a big part missing in his life. The Tin Man wanted a heart. He expressed those feelings in his song. He sang, “When a man’s an empty kettle, he should be on his mettle and yet I’m torn apart. Just because I’m presumin’ that I could be a human if I only had a heart.” He wanted to know what it would feel like to have human emotions. When he approached The Great Wizard and voiced his request, The Wizard asked him this question, “As for you my galvanized friend, you want a heart? You don’t know how lucky you are to not have one. Hearts will never be practical until they become unbreakable. In other words, be careful what you wish for.”
When we become a mom, our hearts are never more open than they are to these tiny little ones. Our hearts are worn on our sleeve, ready to be busted open with every emotion that comes from being a mom. The one emotion we never saw coming was the brokenness of losing them. We now wear a heart on our sleeve that is broken, unrecognizable and transparent to all who know us. We cannot fake our deep pain, even though we try hard to appear normal. We are unrecognizable even to ourselves. This heart we now have on our sleeve has now become our undoing, or so we think.
Our heart is shattered from grieving the death of this precious child we loved. This same heart felt the complete joy of unconditional love when this child was placed in our arms for the first time. The beating our heart takes from the hurtful comments people make has also felt the sweet compassion from other loving souls that have given us a safe place to land. This unforgiving heart has learned the futility of unforgiveness towards others and towards ourselves. We are quicker to let go of grudges that we used to hold onto. We have watched others take their loved ones for granted and our heart breaks for their indifference. Our heart dances for joy as we hold on to every precious moment we are given and is shattered for those who soon find themselves out of those moments. Our heart that felt defeated is now a heart that is victorious and courageous as we now see we can endure more than we ever felt possible. Our faithless heart has become a living, breathing faith that can’t be broken and an impatient heart has found patience in our trials as prayers have been slowly answered.
The Tin Man knew he still wanted a heart even though he knew it could be broken; he wanted to feel emotion, good and bad. He understood the need for both. To have love for another we too need to have both. To feel compassion for another we need to have been in a place where compassion was given to us. Until we have suffered we will never understand another’s suffering. We must feel the pain, carry the burden, and survive the brokenness to become a loving human being who can then reach out to other broken hearts.
Lord, though our heart might feel undone, as You slowly put our heart back together piece by piece, our hearts still carry the scar tissue of loss, but our hearts are stronger than ever before.
-- Michele
