Psalm 127:3 “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”
I remember the very day I found out I was pregnant with Katie. I was on the elevator to go see my doctor and instantly the walls of the elevator started closing in on me. I knew right there that I was pregnant. When I was pregnant, a feeling of claustrophobia swept over me. As the Lord was slowly creating this little girl in me, my body soon showed signs of her ever growing presence. The umbilical cord that attached her to me was the very lifeline she needed to thrive. I also depended on the strength of that cord for my well being both physically and emotionally. There was nothing that could separate us until the day she was ready to make her exit. It was a simple cut to the cord that now made us able to live separate from one another. It was a cut that gave my daughter a chance to live her own life. What I am aware of now is that Katie at this point could go on without me. She just needed someone to love and feed her. I, on the other hand, had already formed a bond that could never be broken. Since the moment I knew of her, I loved her and my life would never be the same if she were no longer a part of it.
Then came July 2, 1997; a decision had to be made that would change the course of my life forever. It was a day that once again found me back in a hospital. This time my daughter was seventeen and this time we had to make the decision to cut the cord of life support. This day would be the day her life here on earth would end. It too, with that cut, gave her a new chance at life. It is a life separate from us here on earth but in a place where she can be her perfect self. I often wonder what she is up too in her new life. I know she is happy and we are told there are no tears in heaven. That is okay because we have made up for them here on this earth. We have cried until we felt there couldn’t possibly be any more tears to cry.
I have to tell you, on the day we took Katie off life support, I felt the cord between us had been severed, that my relationship with her could no longer grow or change or become deeper. Oh how wrong I was. The cord that connects me to my daughter is deeper and stronger because it is not limited to this physical world. Though the cord is invisible to all, it has given me a new life. This life I live now has a deeper meaning, and has given me a new purpose to make a difference each and every day. It has also made me look at my relationships with others and realize I am not guaranteed another minute with those I hold so dear. I was blessed to hold two babies inside of me and watch them grow into amazing women. One left earth way too soon and the other one continues to bless my days. These two are forever attached to me both in memories as I watched them grow and in the everyday changes that happen inside of who I am by the women they are.
Lord, nothing can separate the cord that binds Your love and the love of our child, not even death!
– Michele
