O God, I do not understand. The tragedies that crush our lives, that scour our hearts with their abrasiveness, that steal from us the very air we breathe. Why? Why do hideous, penetrating words destroy relationships and imprison those who once loved, in the cold of solitude? Why do the elements of nature unleash their wrath and forever scar the ones who stand in their path? Why do children die in tortured bodies? Why are the priceless possessions of life stolen from the victim of abuse? Why?
My child, it is not for you to understand, but to trust, and to rest. I have not changed. Let your tears fall heavy upon my feet, and I will lift you in my arms and draw you to my breast. I have not changed. I love. I care. My heart despises evil, but it beats in constant affection for my child. Believe the love I have for you, and know I will weave the darkest strands of life together with the golden rays of my purposes, and accomplish a goodness that can only come from my hands. I have not changed.
But Father, the pain torments me. It swells. It crashes. It consumes. Its haunting call casts shadows of fear and hopelessness. Sleepless nights awaken to days of constant anxious thoughts and unrelenting heaviness.
My daughter, I have not changed. Your pain will keep your head upon my breast. Your weariness will let me carry you through the darkness, and will restrain you from the foolishness of confronting the fears and hopelessness all on your own. I have not changed. My grace awaits your need, and it pours profusely from my heart of love. Your pain will have its season and I will never, ever leave you. I will strengthen you and beauty will emerge from the ashes. I have not changed.
Sometimes, God, you just seem so far, so very far away. I call into the darkness and longingly plead for the silence to break. Are you still there? Are you listening? The doubts can pursue, and the questions gnaw at the faith I desperately want to cling to.
Precious, precious child. I have not changed. I am the God of your yesterdays, and I am the God of today, and even of tomorrow. Be still. Rest. Find in me all that your heart cries out for. And you will know that I am God. I have not changed.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: Hebrews 13:5b,6,8; 2 Corinthians 12:9,10; Isaiah 40:11; Isaiah 42:16)
