Isaiah 40:28-29 “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding, no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”
I made the mistake of asking for prayer, yet again, for my grieving heart. Sometimes I think that I must sound like a broken record; I mean, the Lord knows my heart is broken, and my pain and sorrow are still very fresh and raw, and there doesn’t seem to be any relief this side of Heaven. It seems that my sorrow is constant and persistent, and no matter what I do, there doesn’t seem to be any relief. But, I have come to realize that it is probably better to not speak about my distress because other people grow tired and weary and lack understanding. I have never suffered from depression before, but I do know a couple of ladies who do, and it seems now the Lord has given me a new compassion and sensitivity to what they have been going through. Grief is exhausting and zaps the life out of me; I am tired and weary; I have no mental or physical energy; I am consumed by my brokenness; I am empty and depleted and my strength is nonexistent. There is no one I can turn to and talking about it doesn’t seem to help, in fact, it only causes me to feel guilty and ashamed that I am not farther along in this process. After all, I should be over the fact that my son is gone already, right?, or at least that’s what other people think.
Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” The good thing about our Lord is that He loves me and accepts me right where I am today. When I stand before my God, He doesn’t see me as having something wrong with me. All He sees is that I am precious and valuable to Him, and He knows my heart is broken beyond repair and He just loves me unconditionally, and never grows weary of listening to me cry and weep over my devastating loss. He understands the depths of my neediness right now and loves that I come to Him for healing. He patiently waits for me while I go through this horrible season of my life and doesn’t judge me. He never snaps at me or minimizes my sorrow and pain and, in fact, He takes all my tears and gathers them up and puts them in His bottle (Ps. 56:8) and then He takes my crushed spirit and breathes life into my battered soul and war torn sails.
Isaiah 25:4 says, “You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in their distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat. For the breath of the ruthless is like a storm driving against a wall.” I feel like I have been in a raging sea this past year and that I am like a ship being tossed around in the waves; the storms of emotions have agitated this little vessel to the point of defeat and despair; the tumultuous outbursts of heavy rains have pelted my energy and the skies are dark and intense and there does not seem to be any relief from the elements of defeat. However, there are moments when I come before my God and it is only when He says, “Peace, be still” that the wind and seas become calm, the sun begins to shine, and the Lord tenderly and safely maneuvers me into a pristine cove where it is serene and peaceful, where there is refuge and shelter, where there is shade and comfort. My Lord gently says to me, “Do you not know, have you not heard?” My Lord never grows tired or weary of listening to me, and His understanding is deeper than anyone can fathom. My Lord will give me strength when I am weary and will increase my power when I am weak.
-- Melody
