Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
I will never forget the day I went forward and accepted Jesus into my heart. It wasn’t the first time, in fact, I had gone forward when I was only 13 years old, but I had walked away from the Lord and had been living a life of self-destruction. There was the call to come, to lay all that I was at the foot of Jesus, to come with my burdens and my sorrows, my ugliness and my sinfulness, all the things I had done that kept me up at night, all the people I had hurt and who had hurt me, I heard the call and I came forward. I was done. I had been carrying around the weight of my life and at the age of 27 years old, I finally gave up control and in fell swoop, it was gone. I heard the words and the Holy Spirit came over me and searched my heart and prompted me to ask myself the question, “Will you come? Are you finally willing to lay it all down and trust Me?”
Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” My life had been a series of devastating events; it was self- run- riot; I had been in control of my life, the captain of my ship, and I had truly lost my way. My world had become increasingly small and dark and I needed a Savior. I had been placed in situations that required me to survive, but that was all it was, I was alive, but dead inside; I was existing, but there was no hope and even though I had come to the end of my rope, there was something that held me back from completely abandoning myself. Trust. I had long since given up on trusting anyone except myself. I was in control and I wasn’t willing to give that up; I had been responsible for the outcome of my life, and even though I had paid incredible consequences as a result of my poor choices, the sad fact is my pride continued to get in the way and tell me I was fine. But the truth of the matter was, I was empty and there was nothing left. I had come to a place of quiet desperation and somehow the thought that I was meant for so much more, overtook me and humbled me to the core.
James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” The pastor said, that I was a daughter of the most High King and that He wanted to lavish me with love, that He owned all the cattle on the hill and that He was rich in mercy and abundant in grace. The one thing that stuck out to me in his sermon was the word love. I had never truly been loved and I so desperately needed to be loved. Oh sure, I had a lot of phony love, or should I say man’s best efforts to love me, but pure, unconditional true love? It didn’t exist in my world. It had been like the old bait and switch game, you never really came close to getting your true prize; it was like shifting shadows. The human expression of love changed from moment to moment, day to day, depending upon me, it was inadequate and incomplete, it was not real, but only a facade and underneath there was always something ugly, something lurking in the shadow. The pattern always continued with every guy I met and I was tired and worn out. I was spent and I was done. I wanted more than what I had been getting. And when the call came, I was ready. I was ready to lay it all down and leave it all behind. I was weary and tired of fighting for what I wanted, what I needed and what I felt like I deserved. At first, I just waded in, but when I felt the unconditional love lapping around my feet, I plunged in head first and breathed in His goodness, His light and His true love, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was home.
– Melody
