I spent so many years closing off my emotions, especially the ones we aren’t sure how to cope with, and then, God’s grace opened my heart to understand Him so much more fully, and His grace began to saturate so much that had conflicted those emotions, and then He began to let me put my heart on paper in ways I never had before, having a desire to be vulnerably open on a personal level and biblically accurate in how I faced that openness, or helped others to face their own openness. But, what also came were my tears. For the most part, they had stopped with the vow I made as a child. In the gift of tears God gave to me, I felt my own emotions more strongly as well as the emotions of others as they walked their own journeys of hurt and pain, sorrow and loss, doubt and confusion. My tears for others can come openly and sometimes, unexpectedly. My tears for those things that touch me still in very personal ways, my tears come privately, or in the privacy of conversation with a trusted friend.
The Isaacs is a family group that began singing in the eighties with a style similar to the Gaithers, and they have shared the Gaither stage many times. I don’t always listen intently when I am driving to what the radio station is playing, but when the Isaacs started singing, He Understands My Tears, I was fully absorbed and focused. I wrote this originally, at a time when many of us were crying our very private tears, because we were still in the middle of a pandemic, a growing pandemic, set against racial and political upheaval, economic uncertainty, and a depth of questions that didn’t seem to have clear answers. And for whatever is going on in the world around us – family issues still arise, grief grabs us and holds us, the bills aren’t getting paid, life transitions from one chapter to another, health needs are demanding attention, and ....... shall I go on??? And our tears come. And I am no different. And my own emotions, like many of you as well, have become very vivid and assaulting. But I listened to the Isaacs sing. He understands my tears ... He feels the hurt that no one can see down inside. And when the words get in the way I know He still hears, for He understands my tears. You may not believe that I'm broken for all you can see is my smile. Oh, but He hears the heart that's unspoken and He gives me strength through each trial. “He.” My God, my Jesus, His abiding-within-me Holy Spirit. “He.” He listens, He understands, He feels, He responds.
And again, I was listening, but not driving. This time I was safely at home and I heard the promises of God’s faithfulness sung by I Am They. I will sing through fire and thunder, cause You are on my side, I trust You with my life. I know my story, it isn't over. Even against all odds, for You are a faithful God, that's who You are. You are a faithful God. I am convinced that Your promises will hold together and I will dwell in the hope of Your love forever.
They are the words too of the psalmist and of Christ Himself. This I declare about the Lord:He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. (Psalm 91:2) And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. (Matthew 6:30)
Let our tears bring us to our God. He is faithful and He listens, He understands, He feels, and He responds. O Father, thank You.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: Psalm 23:1-6)
