Psalm 10:1 “O Lord, why do you stand so far away? Why do you hide when I am in trouble?”
In the Psalms, we see where many of the writers speak of discouragement, brokenness, and a feeling of abandonment. I believe that is why the Psalms are often where we go in times of trials. Their words describe feelings we often struggle to express. Their hope in God usually outweighs the fear and suffering they are confronted with. There are times in my dark moments when joy stealers enter into my heart. When I find myself living with worry and fear. It can take me to a dark place. I sometimes find it hard to find my way back to the One who created me and loves me.
I have been thinking of all the mothers this year who have had to bury their children without the love and support of others. Many were probably not even allowed in the hospital room as their child took their last breath. When they walked out of the hospital, there were no strong arms to lift them up when they couldn’t hold themselves up. Sometimes it seems that life is just too hard. As a Christian I know the Lord is in control, but when it feels so out of control, I want to wave my white flag and tap out. Does anyone else feel overwhelmed with all the pain and suffering we have been witness to? Has anyone else felt inadequate to solve all the problems we see each and every day? Are you struggling with heart issues?
I need to make a confession to each one of you that I have heart issues. I am doing things with a heart that is struggling. So I am asking the One who created me why I feel like I have an unclean heart. I thought maybe I was suffering from a hardened heart. Yet I know my heart feels and breaks. I believe maybe my heart isn’t hardened, but it might be a tired heart. I fight each day to look at all that is good in my life and then beat myself up because I have no reason to not be grateful. Whether my heart is hardened or tired, either way I feel like I am just going through the motions. So I keep my secret quiet and continue to smile and say I am doing fine, when in fact, I am not. I share this secret with each of you so you will pray for me and if your heart feels tired like mine, I can pray for you.
As I am writing this, I look one more time at this verse and I look at it with a different perspective. It is not me asking the Lord, “Why do you stand so far away? Why do you hide when I am in trouble?” It is the Lord asking me, “O Michele, why do you stand so far away? Why do you hide when you are in trouble? Come to Me, Michele, when you are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest. I am the One who found the lost, made the lame walk, the blind see, the dead live, and I can make your tired heart become a joy filled heart again.
The little sharp vexations
And the briars that catch and fret,
Why not take all to the Helper
Who has never failed us yet?
Tell Him about the heartache
And tell Him the longings too.
Tell Him the baffled purpose
When we scarce know what to do.
Then leaving all our weakness
With the One divinely strong
Forget that we bore the burden,
And carry away a song.
– Margaret Sangster
Lord, my heart longs to sing again.
– Michele
