Father, the darkness of fear and the unknown wrapped itself around me. I had been walking through a tough place, and I knew it would be tough, and Your peace embraced me, and with the confidence of Your presence, I leaned into Your love and Your care, and my feet walked, and my heart pulsed with a no-matter-what-You-are-for-me!! And then I awakened to another day of unknowns, and I silently screamed to know direction, to understand the turns I hadn’t anticipated, to sort through the emotions that were beginning to darken my spirit. Father, You seemed so, so far away!! How could that be??? You had been so real, so very, very real, and suddenly, I was immersed, I was restrained – I was sinking into the muck, and my reality was dark and confused. The pit of despair – I had found it! The mud. The mire. The cocoon that wrapped itself around me. The mirror that reflected all of self and the ugliness that had descended. Who was I? Where was my God???
O Father, You are always so faithful........... You came in a friend, and then You came in my son. You came in the words of a friend from many miles away. And the darkness began to lighten. And the cocoon began to loosen. And Your Spirit began to lift me and soothe my own spirit. And the mud and the mire began to recede. My fears and apprehensions and lack of direction began to find refuge in Your love.
And how often have I said, “Life stinks, but God is good.” Two truths, seemingly diametrically opposed to each other, and yet each is so vital. And I needed both reminders. My tough place was immersed in stink – that was its essence – the stink of questions and doubts and uncertainties, all woven together with a broken body that threatened much else. And my questions in the middle of the stink, met the faithfulness of my God. He did what I could not do. And echoes of His truth continued to quiet my spirit.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He freed me from all my fears. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Taste and see that the Lord is good. And the new song God gave, the hymn of praise mindful of all He had done, rehearsed the words of Josh Baldwin. When darkness tries to roll over my bones, when sorrow comes to steal the joy I own, when brokenness and pain is all I know, oh, I won't be shaken, no, I won't be shaken. My fear doesn't stand a chance when I stand in Your love. My fear doesn't stand a chance.
Father, thank You that Your faithfulness isn’t dependent upon my own. There are times all of us find the mud and the mire. There are times all of us are overwhelmed with the stench of life. And there are times, we can’t even pray. We just want to push away the darkness, and O God, it doesn’t budge. But, Your faithfulness finds me, embraces me, and frees me from the mud and the mire. Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Thank You, thank You, precious, precious Father.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: Psalm 40:1-3; Psalm 34:4- 8, 17-19; Lamentations 3:22,23)
