2 Corinthians 9:15 "Thank God for this gift, too wonderful for words."
In her book, One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp speaks of eucharisteo, the act of being intentionally thankful for all we have been blessed with. She writes, “The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live. As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible. The holy grail of joy is not in some exotic location or some emotional mountain peak experience. The joy wonder could be here! Here in the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be unbelievably possible.”
How do we find joy when our heart is breaking like never before? Why are we hurting? We hurt so bad because the greatest gift we have been given is to be our child’s mom. In that alone we can be thankful. Think of the joy that came when we found out this child was being knitted in our womb. What joy awaits you when that child greets you in Heaven. Our child being received into Heaven before us is never how we thought this story would go. We never thought we would bury our children. God’s plan for their life is different then our plan. I have often wondered maybe God received my child into Heaven from this earthly place to spare her from something that was too much for her to bear. In that, I can find thanks. This pain you are feeling is because you had this child in your life, no matter how long, they have changed who you are. So I ask you, can you find thanks and joy in that? This is your choice to make. Ann Voskamp wrote these words about how we choose to live after tragedy. “Why would the world need more anger, more outrage? How does it save the world to reject unabashed joy when it is joy that will save us? Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering doesn’t rescue the suffering. The converse does. When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows.”
My dear mom, if you struggle to find what to be thankful for in this pain, know this pain you wear is a badge of honor. You wear it because of this child you loved. Without this pain, this child and your love would never have existed. This child’s life will continue to bless you if you open your heart and hands to the gifts that God has for you. It is too wonderful for words!
O God, open my heart and hands......................
– Michele
