My brother Tommy came with us when we retired and returned to South Carolina to be near two of our sons who had already found “home” to once again be the state they were born in. Tommy had his own apartment just a short drive from our home, until he moved into an independent senior residence. Still, he was close to us, and we all included him in family activities. Physically though, his body was beginning to deteriorate. For years, he had tolerated whatever “religion” others wanted to pursue – to him, one was as valid as the next – but a number of years before he joined us in California, he started attending a Salvation Army church, and he found Jesus waiting for him. Tommy could still be the quiet observer in the room, but an intensity invaded every conversation he was invited to that spoke of the military, or, the God who had waited for him. We knew he was beginning to fight a battle with his body though, and we also knew he didn’t want any heroics, or even changes to how he was living each day, content at the senior residence, especially with the many other veterans living there who shared his military heart. And then, he started to isolate, and when encouraged to be with his family, the words came more and more frequently, “I just want to go see Jesus.” Going to the senior residence one Saturday morning just to check on him, we found out his want-to had been fulfilled. God let me have a peek at Tommy’s new home, and Tommy was once again vibrant and intense, singing God’s praise, and enjoying the pride and joy of our daughter Tonia, and his own Mom.
My husband’s Mom beamed with a peace I had never seen before when I sat with her in an examination room, and our doctor gave her a cancer diagnosis. To her, it would allow her to see her Jesus, and she looked beyond me and the doctor, and I sometimes wonder exactly what she saw, but, about eight months later, she had that same expectant smile as she closed her eyes and let Jesus welcome her into Heaven. She had found and was experiencing the victory Jesus gives, and the victory in Jesus the congregation sang about so, so dynamically and beautifully at her funeral. When my daughter Tonia went to Jesus shortly after her birth, even with the effects of anesthesia for my C-section, I know Jesus Himself came for Tonia – I saw Him standing on a stairway leading into Heaven, waiting for her.
Getting older myself, I hear sometimes the conversations others have with their families. They are like Tommy, “I just want to go see Jesus.” No heroics. No long term care. My life has been full, but in this prelude to Heaven, the joy of my eternal home so, so far exceeds it. Families don’t always understand. For them, there will be an emptiness, an ending to much that has brought warmth and familiarity. But to the one who says good-bye here, and is embraced by the same arms that were stretched out on the cross, that loved one has gained immeasurably for all eternity – and now, our wait begins.
I frequently think of Paul’s ponderings as he wrote to the Philippians, “For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live.”
– Bev
(Related Bible reading:Philippians 1:20 - 24)
