No Words

Mary was a ponder-er. Gazing at her own child in the manger as the fear of the shepherds became a compulsive praise, she kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. She must have pondered when Simeon’s words in the temple brought both affirmation and foreboding prophecy, and when the angel uprooted the natal family to find safety in Egypt. Years later, frantic with parental worry, questioning her son about His choices, hearing His straightforward response that He needed to do the work of His Father, again she pondered as she stored all these things in her heart. ... Shamed before condemning onlookers, the woman’s adultery became a means for finding reason to accuse the One who claimed to be the Son of God. The woman though found compassion with Jesus and her self-righteous accusers dismissed themselves. When Jesus spoke to her without condemnation, her words to Him were few. ... It was still another woman who knelt behind him [Jesus] at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them. Scripture doesn’t record any words spoken by this one who exchanged her guilt for forgiveness, but her actions are profound and they revealed her heart. ... Earlier, Jesus gave life to the only son of a widow. Interrupting both a funeral procession and the overwhelming grief of a mother, Jesus told her son to sit up and as he did, he began to speak. But again, Scripture records no words from the lips of one whose tears were dried. ... Neither do you hear the words of Jairus or his wife when their own young daughter is given life at the command of Jesus. Faith replaced their fear, and overwhelming joy and amazement replaced their weeping, but their emotions found no words. There are many in Scripture who verbally do respond to God’s work in their lives, but there are many too who simply ponder as Mary often did. There are those whose guilt or tragedy finds no words to express their emotions or thinking. And even in God-given provision, their lips are still quiet as they ponder the presence and purpose of God. Jesus met many, as He does us today, with gentleness and compassion, patience and understanding, and an acceptance of their situation although He had still more for them. He met them even in their silence because He knew their hearts. How differently He responded than we sometimes do when we meet the silence of a heart. God also tells us that our hearts will find a song; they will find the words that express not only their need, but also God meeting them within their need. I have heard many moms do that. In the raw, abrasive freshness of the death of their child, their tears spill out the dark, numbing silence of their hearts, and their prayers groan with heaviness, and no words. Jesus meets them as He did those in Scripture, and in time, they find their song and their words. Personally, I have experienced both guilt and tragedy, just as many of you have. God has met me, over and over and over, just as He has met you. And I have found my song, my words, my once silent words, and they express what was the quietness of my darkness, and the Jesus who met me there. Only very recently, I found the words that succinctly speak of my own heart as I remember my daughter, Tonia, and the Jesus who met us both ..................................... Child of my womb, my heart, my love. Birthed on earth, tiniest of rosebuds. Cradled by Jesus, petals unfolding Blossoming perfection, eternally alive. As I embrace my tears, She embraces her joy. – Bev (Related Bible reading: Luke 2:16-19; Luke 2:51; John 8:1-11; Luke 7:36-50; Luke 7:11-17; Luke 8:49-56)

Waves of Grief

GSnow’s post on reddit.com went viral as his words gave expression to the grief of thousands who read it. You can find all of his post online if you google, “An old man explains grief,” but I want to share just part of the wisdom his life, and death, experiences have taught him. He parallels grief to surviving a shipwreck, and part of his post says, In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find that the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breath, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything… and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. I have shared GSnow’s words with many who are walking their own journey of grief, and they are quick to validate his insights. GSnow acknowledges that the waves of grief come farther apart and lessen in intensity as the grief journey passes through time and healing – a healing that still loves, still remembers, and still holds a tug to re-unite. As believers, holding tightly to the God who loves and comforts, and gives His grace, or being carried close to the Father heart that knows and feels our tears and the pain of our loss, the sense of surviving a shipwreck is still very real. And for the believer, the triggers still come, for months, for years, for decades, for a lifetime. Initially, in those early months and years, we may expect the triggers. We still see the empty chair, sleep in a bed where one pillow grows cold, watch a child’s friends go to the next grade level, hit the winning home run, or we smell the scents that almost seemed to define our loved one. Grief slows life down to a crawl, but we do begin to walk, and then we do begin to make changes. Although we will forever carry our loved one in our heart as our loved one lives and delights within all the perfections of Heaven, our earthly lives transition and we express those lives in new and different ways. And the waves can still descend, and they can descend with an unexpected heaviness, a deep heaving sorrow that longs to hold our loved one close. I can enter the joy of a young and beautiful bride, expectantly walking the aisle on her wedding day, eager to exchange the arm of her Dad for all a young man offers her as they begin their lives as one. The tears that come though are tears of sadness, longing for the presence of our own daughter who will never walk a wedding aisle with her Dad, or dance the father-daughter dance with him, warmly wrapped in the memories of childhood. The wave was triggered, and it crashes, soaking me to the depths of my sometimes still fragile heart. And it is then I find my comfort where I have learned to find my comfort – in the constant, unchanging presence of my Father-God. Honest with my emotions, my memories, my thoughts, my longings, but letting Him carry me close to His heart one more time. And, it will probably happen again, but my God is real, and my God cares, and when the wave comes again, whenever that may be, my God will still be real, and close, and comforting. – Bev (Related Bible reading: Isaiah 40:11; Isaiah 41:13; Isaiah 46:4; Psalm 23:4; 2 Corinthians 1:2-4)

He Knows Me

Psalm 13:1-2 “How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” Have you ever felt like the Lord has forgotten you? Do you long for Him to see you, to understand your situation, that you are at the end of your rope and barely hanging on with a thread? Sometimes it feels like the world is crashing down around us and we often wonder, where are You Lord? Do You see me? Do You know me? Have You forgotten about me and this deep valley I am in? Do You not see my tears? Am I not Your child? How long must I suffer? Are You hearing my prayers? He knows you. Psalm 139:2-4 says, “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.” He knows our every move, He knows when I rise and when I lay down, He knows my thoughts and is familiar with all my ways. He knows what I will say before it even comes out of my mouth. If He knows us this well, why does He allow us to feel disconnected with Him? I saw a poster with a woman and she was sitting on top of all her beautiful luggage in the middle of the desert and the caption read, “Where did you go, Lord?” He has never gone anywhere. He promises us that if we shall call upon Him in our time of trouble, He will answer us and that He will deliver us. He is near to all who call upon Him…He also will hear their cry and save them.” (Psalm 145:18-19) He promised that He would never leave us or forsake us, but we often pack our bags and go away from Him, sometimes we get angry at Him and we just leave, but even during that time, He promises that His is near to us. There is nowhere you can go from His Spirit; you cannot flee from His presence. (Psalm 139:7) Why not just give in and allow Him to rescue you, to save you and to hide you safely beneath the shadow of His wings. Why do we not allow Him to comfort us, to hold us gently in His arms? Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.” Our soul should silently wait for God for He is our salvation and He alone is our strength and when we rest in Him, we will find peace. – Melody

God's Call to Empathy

From Psychology Today, person to person, “empathy is the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another ... Developing empathy is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. It involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, and enables pro-social, or helping behaviors, that come from within, rather than being forced.” Webster adds to those thoughts with noting the ability to be empathetic comes “without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.” Another statement that caught my attention said, “The ethic of empathy is the Golden Rule: do unto others, as you would have them do to you.” That made a lot of sense, and it brings us to the biblical command to love others which is joined with the command to love God intensely, passionately, dependently, and with our choices. I shared with a friend the grief my own heart was heavy with. She had been praying since I had made her aware of the crushing health needs of the one who eventually succumbed to those needs. And she had prayed even while she coped with health needs that were much closer to home for her. She understood the pain another was suffering. She understood the difficulty of giving and giving in the darkness of a very uncertain future. She also knew the reality of her ever-present God, the One who carries us when just to walk demands a strength we know nothing of. And she was able to give from her own pain to lighten the pain of another, both mine, and the family of one who had died too young. Umbrella Ministries defines itself as a support ministry reaching out to the hurts and hearts of mothers who have experienced the loss of a child. How are we able to do that? 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 answers the question. All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. Like my friend, the mothers of Umbrella Ministries share a very tragic need, but they have also found that Jesus’ Father is our Father too, and He is the Father who gives with understanding, compassion, and comfort. Many of the moms of Umbrella Ministries have and continue to have, a very deep, experiential knowledge of the comforting compassion of our Father. And, yes, it takes empathy to unimaginable levels sometimes when the grief of another becomes our own grief, not in the exact same way as the one who has recently lost, but still in a very sharing, responsive way. And God calls all of us to a similar empathy – to truly feel the hurts, pains, struggles and difficulties of another, especially in those areas in which we have a story, a history, even a present time of still walking through, that bears a strong resemblance to the other who is hurting. We can do it in all kinds of ways, but giving our presence when needed, dominates. We can assure another of our prayers, help with meals, or housework, or child care, be a listening ear, give comforting, encouraging words, and sometimes even challenging words. But whatever we “do,” it flows from a heart that has known the comfort of our Father, and a compulsion that can do no less than respond to another. – Bev (Related Bible reading: 2 Corinthians 1:3,4)

God’s Certain Hope

Psalm 146:5 “But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God.” “Fallon, Grandma is getting a little forgetful. Are you going to be seven or eight?” This is a question I asked my youngest granddaughter. She looked at me with this look of concern. “Grandma,” she replied, “apparently you don’t know me as well as you should.” I had to laugh. Time is passing so quickly; I can’t keep up. I know this little girl pretty well. I love her to pieces. Yet there is someone who knows her better than I do. He watched her being formed in utter seclusion as she was being woven together. He infused some intelligence with a hint of sassiness into those genes. He also created her with an overabundance of funny bones. He loves her even more than I do. He created everything about her. He knows when she sits and stands. Her creator knows everything she is going to do. He knows everything she will say before she says it. As I think of the world this little girl will grow up in, I am fearful for her. The evil one will be on the prowl to destroy her. What gives me hope? Psalm 139 tells me all I need to know. It gives me hope. He will go before her and follow her all the days of her life. He will place His hands of blessing on her head. She can never escape His presence. His hand will guide her, and His strength will support her. His thoughts about her are precious, and they cannot be numbered. He will also not be forgetful, unlike her grandma. He will always know the number of her days. What hope that is for all of us! As I know my days are numbered, and I think of future generations, we can hold on to the promises of God’s Word. We can never escape His Spirit or His presence. When we go to Heaven, He will be there; in the grave, He will be there. Nothing can separate us from His love. – Michele

He Who Watches Over Me

Psalm 142:3 “When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way.” When I was growing up, even though I had an earthly biological father, the memories of him have never been good; in fact, to the contrary, there were traumatic events that happened in my childhood that caused me to feel overwhelming fear, anxiousness, and at times I felt abandoned and extremely unsafe. Gentleness and tenderness were never characteristics I remember as a child and, as a result, trust does not come easy for me. As a child, I learned to retreat into a world of my own when I felt unsafe and I would talk to myself out loud and even then, in those times when I felt so incredibly alone, I knew instinctively that I was not alone. From a very young age I always felt there was a presence who watched over every single thing that happened. It was almost as if I could see that girl crying, but I never really connected with her. I was always reaching out to something bigger, wondering who could see me, who could hear me, who really cared about me, and I knew that someone did, and as a small child, in my loneliness, that is where I drew my comfort. I love the parable of the mustard seed, "What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade." (Mark 4:30-32.) Developing faith and trust in our heavenly Father is a very slow process and it takes a very long time; in fact, for most people it takes a lifetime. I began to develop a trust in something greater as a very young child and that little seed that the Lord planted in me as a child has grown over the years. If you look at the rest of this scripture, in Mark 4:34, it says, that Jesus “did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when He was alone with His own disciples, He explained everything.” It has always been when I am alone with Him that the Lord has shown me His greatest insights, has given me my most significant epiphanies. Always it has been when He has taken me aside and shown me how to examine my heart, how to give Him my fears, how to lay down my doubts, that He has given me back in return every time I get alone with Him. He gives me a little bit more tenderness, a little bit more gentleness, a little bit more peace, a little more understanding, things that the world has never been able to give me. It has taken a lifetime for me coming to a place where I am finally so comfortable with Him that I long to be alone with Him every opportunity I have. In Hebrews 13:5, Jesus says, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." He will never abandon me, He will always be with me, He will always see me and track with me. He will be that consistent friend who will never forsake me or disappoint me. But the best part about my heavenly Father is that he is giving me what my earthly father never was capable of giving me, tenderness, sweetness, gentleness, patience, goodness, kindness, comfort, peace, security, healing, adoration and most of all the love that I have craved my entire life, and it is only found in One place. And His promise to me is that “surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matt. 28:20) That alone for me is the best source of comfort I will ever have. – Melody

Sacrifice of Praise

Hebrews 13:15 “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Today is Labor Day and it doesn’t just mean a day off work; for me it is a holiday that represents the coming of the end of the summer and the beginning of the fall season, which leads into Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since I have always worked full-time, I usually had something fun planned for this particular three-day weekend; it would either be a weekend getaway or an invitation would go out to friends and family for a barbecue or pool party. But things in my life are much different now. I’m no longer married and my disabled son now resides in Heaven, I’ve moved from San Diego to a rural town in East Texas and it is days like this that cause me to feel isolated. I have never minded living alone, but holidays are always hard when my entire family have lives of their own and live in different states. I try not to look ahead and just enjoy the day off, but if I’m honest, the thought of facing another holiday season without solid plans with a significant other or my immediate family is just agonizing for me. Isaiah 45:3 says, “I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” As I open up God’s Word this morning, He reminds me that I am not alone and that this is not just another amazing day in the beautiful life that He has given me. Yes, it may be that today represents the end of one season and the beginning of another, but so it also is with the seasons in my life. Each new day, each new chapter, represents hidden treasures, riches that are stored in the secret places of my relationship with the Lord and in the moments He allows me to be of service to Him and to others. All I have to do is to recognize what those treasures are and I am immediately reminded of who I am and why I am here on this earth. My life is to be an act of worship to the audience of One and instead of looking at what I don’t have at this very instant or in the near future, I will trust God’s will and plan for my life. As I turn on some praise music, those feelings of loneliness disappear as I offer a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving to my Lord and Savior and just like that, His Living Water flows into my heart and soul and the fullness of His Spirit causes me to have an attitude of gratitude for this extra day off and for the person of Jesus who has blessed me so richly and when I share that gratitude with another, I know that He is pleased. -- Melody