The God Who Cares

There is much that delighted Charlie’s heart as a young child, but the Christmas season brought for him, the anticipation of riding the Christmas train. An annual event that is repeated for several weeks, it allows the child in all of us to travel to the North Pole (uhh, temporarily relocated in Southern California), take pictures with Santa and share Christmas wish-lists, listen to Mrs. Claus tell a Christmas story and maybe even get a warm hug after being a good listener. The train takes us to Santa and lets us enjoy lights and decorations too, even climb up in Santa’s big sleigh. Charlie’s delight though could be shut down if a steady rain threatened to drench everything that was part of his special event. And with pre-paid tickets for a set time, it is very difficult to re-schedule. Charlie has known that disappointment, and this particular year, rain was already in the forecast. He knew he could pray and ask for God’s help, but for Charlie, his prayer was innocently centered on the child he was. Charlie, God may have others wanting and needing rain, and God will do what God in His wisdom knows is best. It’s still okay though to ask God for His help, and then we just wait and see. So, Charlie prayed, and so did I, and so did others. The forecast didn’t change, and the morning hours of Charlie’s day had us all wondering, but still we prayed. Charlie rode the Christmas train that day, and I knew God had decided that the best for that day was to let a young boy know his God cared – closely, personally, up close. Hagar had faced the consequences of her own choices and the choices of others, but she knew the God who watched her was the God who cares. She wandered aimlessly in the wilderness, alone with her young son, and soon believed they would probably both die there. God’s care overflowed as He provided for both of them. Hannah was heavy with the grief of barrenness, and God responded to her desperate pleas, giving her the baby she named Samuel. Jesus compassionately walked over to the coffin of a young man who was the only son of his widowed mother. In recognition of not only the widow’s immediate loss, but also its long term consequences, Jesus told the dead boy to sit up, and the boy went home with his mother. Both the scorned Samaritan woman who seemed to randomly flit from relationship to relationship and the accused woman caught in the act of adultery, crouched beneath the angry, demanding cries of her accusers – both women met the caring compassion of Jesus. The Psalms frequently reference God’s care and provision. The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. In my own week, I am walking another year without my daughter who died at birth. But my heart is drawn too to others I love who are also walking through anniversaries this week – the husband who died prematurely, the wife who passed and left behind a husband who had given himself so fully to assisting with the outreach she was having, the infant who tasted so briefly of life in the family who loved her. And there is the young wife who testifies so vibrantly of the God who cares, even while her husband struggles with cancer. And all in one week, amidst the busyness, there is the cough and flu and ear ache, a brother with surgery, questions about relationships, young people making life choices, and this year, my own sister who gives her tears to God, while she desperately cries out for the healing of her husband’s body. O God, I lean desperately into Your care, for there are no other options. You love, You give, You stay right beside me. You bend down and listen, and You respond with an intensity that reminds me so clearly, You care. – Bev (Related Bible reading: Psalm 9:9.10; Psalm 23:1-6; Psalm 40:1-3; Psalm 63:1-8; Psalm 116:1,2)

Finding the Unchangeable

It is that time of year as we open up our containers of Christmas decorations, we also open up a treasure chest full of memories. Memories of children excited as they unwrap each ornament that has not seen the light of day for a year. The joy that came on Christmas morning as we watched our little ones, eyes barely open, dashing with excitement to see what goodies the man in the red suit had left them. One of my favorite memories I have with my daughters were the days we spent baking cookies for their friends and the happiness that was on their faces when they delivered them. I remember the days with immense pleasure and in my memory, a time that was perfect. In my memory those times seemed perfect, but yet, I do recall it was also a time when I was in a frantic time of busyness. A working mom with two kids, spinning my wheels, trying to accomplish all I felt needed to be done, to make the holidays just right. Traditions that became a must-have and really had nothing to do with the birth of Jesus. As time has gone on I have let go of some of these traditions. Some because my surviving daughter has moved on to do her own family traditions, and some I found have just not brought me the sense of joy they once did. Some traditions I have found to be just too painful. I have kept the traditions of a tree and the manger because they still have great meaning to me. Years of decorating the tree and placing just the right Christmas ornament in exactly the right place brings a smile to my face. My manger scene reminds me of the true meaning of Christmas, a Savior who became a man and died on the cross for my sins. These same memories that bring a smile to my face also bring a feeling of an undeniable hole that has been left in the absence of my daughter. That is never more evident to me than when I receive those family Christmas cards. It is wonderful to see families intact, but the sending of Christmas cards with my family’s picture on it came to a sudden halt after the death of my daughter. I cannot bear to send out a family picture that is missing someone we all held so dear. We always need to be kind to ourselves and that is never more important than on those days that hold special memories for us. Sometimes traditions need to be set aside because they can become a minefield we know will break us apart. When we look at our traditions to be the thing that brings us our joy, we will always be disappointed. Things change in life and with that our traditions must follow. Life will go on. December 25 will march forward if we decide we just cannot do things the way we used to. Who knows, you might find a simpler and more meaningful way to celebrate. We might find it is more about the being of Christmas than the doing of Christmas. Lord, two things we know; life never stays the same, but Lord, Your love for us never changes. – Michele

Rejoice Always!

1 Peter 1:6 “In all this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials.” There comes a turning point at each time of the year, it occurs right around the time of my youngest son’s birthday; it’s the middle of October and the fall leaves are beginning to gather up on the driveway. You know the time of year I’m talking about, where you walk in to Costco and they’ve got all the Christmas decorations out, fake trees, wrapping paper, ornaments, European cookies, chocolate and toys, lots of magnificent toys. A sprit of heaviness comes over me as I consider the holidays, another Thanksgiving, another Christmas without my precious Elisha. It’s almost as if I resent the fact that the holidays are staring me in the face yet again, time goes by so quickly, doesn’t it? It’s only been nine years since the death of my child and yet there is a fear in the pit of my stomach that I’ve already forgotten him. Significant dates have come and gone and even though it seems so wrong to celebrate these milestones without him, and soon we will be, enjoying my youngest son’s 28th birthday, but it is overshadowed by the fact that Elisha is not here to celebrate with us. We do little quirky things that he used to do; we say funny little words that he used to say, and we each honor his memory in our own little ways, but the truth is, our joy has been diminished by our grief. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” Rejoice always. The theme of these scriptures, tells us we are to be exceedingly glad, exuberantly jubilant, and to possess the kind of joy that is not based on changing, temporary circumstances, but is a joy that comes from the unchanging, eternal relationship with our Heavenly Father. Pray continually. This does not mean to throw up a prayer when the going gets tough, or to pray repetitiously as if reciting a poem, but to pray persistently, just like breathing; it should come naturally; you don’t even have to think about it; you are in constant communication with our Lord and uninterrupted communion with the Holy Spirit. And finally, we are to give thanks in all circumstances, to offer up a sacrifice of praise even when we are deep in the valley of the shadow of death, where we can fall on Jesus, the Rock of our salvation, the Living God, who gives us hope even when there is none. Nancy Leigh DeMoss in her book, “Choosing Gratitude,” says, “And in my heart I waved the white flag and said, ‘Yes Lord. I am willing to go with You all the way on this journey of choosing gratitude. I don’t want to be just ‘grateful enough’ to keep up appearances. By Your grace I want to put the axe to the root of every vestige of complaining, and become a radically thankful woman.’” In our verse today, Peter teaches us several important principles about “various trials” and “troubles.” 1) Trouble does not last (“little while”), 2) trouble serves a purpose (“if necessary”), 3) trouble brings turmoil (“grieved”), 4) trouble comes in various forms (“trials”) and 5) trouble should not diminish the Christian’s joy (“rejoice”). Oh how I want to praise and worship our Lord, even in the midst of difficulty, even when facing the holidays, and especially when I don’t feel like it. Rejoicing is a choice, thankfulness is a choice and considering Jesus above all else, above all of the sorrows, above all of the brokenness, above all of the grief, above all of the busyness of the season, looking to Him is a moment-by-moment choice. And so today, I will be committed to this process of sanctification with all of my heart set on this journey of gratitude and I am willing to go beyond my circumstances and say, worthy are you, Lord, my Savior, my King, my Rock, my Strength, my Peace, the Hope of my salvation. – Melody

God Loves Me

In the middle of thousands upon thousands still picking up from a hurricane, we were having our own “hurricane.” On top of the weather and the news, we had an unexpected death at an unexpected time, that threatened more loss. And in those lengthening moments, I read Dr.E.V. Hill’s words in GriefShare’s devotional book entitled, “Through a Season of Grief.” Dr. Hill said, “Get solidly in your mind who God is. He is not a smart man somewhere who finished from Yale or Harvard who is trying to figure out day-to-day problems for people ..... He is the eternal I AM. He is the eternal last word. And He is love.” My emotions pulsated, and my heart wept tears of gratitude. He is love. Those were the words, and more importantly, the truth, I needed to be reminded of. Dr. Hill also said, “God is the answer to every question and every need.” In the hurricane. In the tragedy that invades your life. In the turmoil and discord that fragments relationships. In every need. Why does He meet us in every need??? Because He is love, and me, and all who are His children are foremost the recipients of that love. We have a Father-child relationship with Him, that loves and cares and gives. And yet, He longs to share that love with all of the peoples of the world. John 3:16 says it so clearly. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. God gives in response to our needs, because, God loves. And He loved us before we ever thought to love Him. We love Him in response to His love for us, but in creating us, He made us creatures who NEED to be loved. Again, why??? Because He wanted our need for love to draw us to HIM. We look all too frequently for others to love us in ways that fully satisfy, but people cannot love us perfectly. Only God can. And we sense the protective shield of His love, its encouragement, its provision, its satisfaction, when He wraps us in it in the midst of the questions and needs. Somebody... please love me. That was once the cry of my own heart. Others spoke of a God who loved. But their words seemed so distant, so unapproachable, so very much for someone else. But it was God Himself who opened my closed heart. He drew the child who so desperately wanted love to Himself, and He said, “My child, you have looked in all the wrong places. You have asked family and friends to give what they cannot give. They can only love in part. They too long to be loved. My love is perfect. My love is complete. My love alone can fully satisfy your longing. Let Me love you.” Yes, sometimes overwhelming need can seem to separate me from His love, but my God has not left me – or, you. He is there with us, even in the darkness, and His love will permeate the darkness and draw me to Himself. Could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made, Were every stalk on earth a quill, and every man a scribe by trade; To write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry. Nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky. – (Author, unknown) – Bev (Related Bible reading: Romans 8:31-39)

Unchanging God

From Facebook, USA Today, PEOPLE, notes and phone calls from friends, and just checking the headlines online, have come the stories of tragedy, loss, and confusion as Hurricane Helene unleashed its fury, and then left western North Carolina communities in turmoil, reeling from the destruction of the storm, and the recovery that lay before them. I found my own heart intertwining especially with the hearts of those who lost a child. I understand – but, only in part. With Helene, there are memories etched in hearts, that will be vividly replayed for years to come, Personally, I relate Helene to 9/11 with its utter destruction that I had a front row seat to, and I hear the nuances of the same question that was asked at that time. Where was God??? That question has been known to resonate from my own heart, and possibly, yours..... O God, I do not understand. The tragedies that crush our lives, that scour our hearts with their abrasiveness, that steal from us the very air we breathe. Why? Why do the elements of nature unleash their wrath and forever scar the ones who stand in their path? Why do children die in tortured bodies? Why? And God speaks to my own spirit........... My child, it is not for you to understand, but to trust, and to rest. I have not changed. Let your tears fall heavy upon my feet, and I will lift you in my arms and draw you to my breast. I have not changed. I love. I care. Believe the love I have for you, and know I will weave the darkest strands of life together with the golden rays of my purposes, and accomplish a goodness that can only come from my hands. I have not changed. My grace awaits your need, and it pours profusely from my heart of love. I remember the Bible stories I learned as a child, and then I taught them to so many other children as I moved out of my own childhood. God helped a whole nation cross over a seabed on dry ground. He rescued Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the fiery furnace they were thrown into. He rescued Daniel from a den of lions. God showed up for a widow who was hungry, and for another widow who was grieving. And again and again through Biblical history, God shows up. And it is for us to know with certainty, our God has not changed. In the middle of Helene, God showed up. Not everyone saw Him, but many did, and their words of acknowledgment and praise bring light to the terror and darkness. Gratitude for those who loved and helped others. Prayers for all those who are still hurting. The certainty of literally hearing God’s voice when they most needed to hear. Peace, and even joy, when it would seem there was no reason for either. Provision that defied expectation. Praise for God’s faithfulness, sufficiency, and purpose. Holding on tightly, knowing in His time, the beauty of purpose will be revealed. A very real sense of God’s presence, strong enough to evoke praise in the midst of the screams, the tears, the fears, the losses. Where is our own Helene or 9/11??? Where has life for us been torn apart, or crushed??? God has not changed. When we long to see Him and look for Him in the darkness, He is there. He has not changed. Let your tears fall in the midst of your agony, and let our Father-God draw you to His breast. He has not changed. He loves you with all the perfections of love. His grace immerses us profusely within His care. He has not changed. – Bev (Related Bible reading: Psalm 23:1-6; James 1:17)

Beautiful Things Out of Dust

Psalm 71:20 “Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again, from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.” A friend of mine has had the privilege of being a mom twice. Her first pregnancy went pretty much as planned, a baby boy. When she found out she was pregnant the second time, her and her husband were both so excited to find out they were going to have a baby girl. That excitement came to a quick halt after they were told this precious baby girl had Down syndrome. They were devastated, but read everything they could get their hands on to help them prepare for what challenges they would be facing. This little girl has changed not only their lives but everyone who comes in contact with this family. When my friend speaks of her life now, this is how she describes it. “When I tell people about our kids, I often describe them this way: Brock is the child I always wanted and Melanie is the child I always needed. Melanie teaches us to slow down, to notice something over and over because we may see something that wasn’t there before, and that it’s ok to take longer to do something - we appreciate those milestones so much more when it’s taken us a lot of hard work to finally achieve our goal. We don’t read those medical books anymore; we just keep them in a closet for reference when needed. And, we don’t treat Melanie any different from her brother - everyone eats their meals, everyone cleans up their messes, everyone does their very best. I can’t believe what we were missing out on before she was born - what I was missing out on - as a mother, friend, and human being. She has opened our eyes to the world of people with different abilities - a loving, encouraging place where everyone is included, and we thank God each day for the chance to experience life through Melanie’s eyes.” It is hard to be grateful when we find ourselves in trials. The Bible instructs us to give thanks in all circumstances. Sometimes the all is not at all what we wanted or had planned. I think we often misunderstand what Paul is saying. The Life Application Bible explains that Paul is not teaching us that we need to thank God for everything that happens to us, but to thank Him IN everything. Evil does not come from God, but when evil strikes we can be thankful for God’s presence and for the good that He will accomplish. Sometimes the hardest challenges we face can bring us some of life’s greatest gifts, gifts we didn’t even know we were lacking. The Lord has done great things for us even though at the moment we might not be able to see them, they are there. He is restoring our life once again. He is there with us in our darkest days and in that alone we can be grateful. He is enough! Lord, You make beautiful things out of the dust. – Michele

An Attitude of Gratitude

I spent my younger adult years trying to find answers to all the questions about life, particularly my own, that still taunted my spirit. I had had enough exposure to biblical truth that I knew God had the answers I wanted and needed, but my basic understanding of God seemed to shut out those answers because I neither heard them or saw them. My God was distant and punitive, and a forgiving God of grace who wanted to embrace me in my fears and misunderstandings was unheard of. But then, God began to unfold what my heart longed for, and in time, He helped me put together a study that could unfold those same truths for others, “Running With Freedom.” In the process of writing, God gave me still more understanding, and the study would present truths like acceptance, love, sufficiency, trust, surrender, wisdom, spiritual disciplines, and perseverance, each with their biblical foundation and a life application that was highly personal. I remember God so clearly telling me during the writing process, “Bev, you need to write about gratitude as well. It’s so important in this whole process.” I really didn’t understand what God was saying about the importance or place of gratitude, but I opened my heart to listen, and followed as He taught me about something that hadn’t seemed so important. By the time I had written and asked questions about Job and the New Testament lepers, the ups and downs of life, and trusting God in all of it, I concluded the lesson with a closing word....... A spirit of gratitude infuses my spiritual walk with energy. It enables me to keep my eyes on God, to be aware of His presence, and His care. It feeds my motivation to obey, to worship, and to give. And gratitude can be mine, if like the leper, I pause long enough to acknowledge the Giver and to recognize His gifts. If there was one thing I learned most about gratitude at that time, and I have continued to learn, is that a spirit or attitude of gratitude changes my perspective on what is going on in my own world and in the world around me. I also wrote in the lesson that really God and I both wrote, "Almost every life will have its share of hardships, and most of us will also be privileged to enjoy some of the good things life has to offer. Gratitude though really has more to do with acceptance and trust and with attitude and focus than it does with the particulars of our circumstances." Not too many years later, I attended my first Umbrella Ministries conference, and Daisy, UM’s founder, spoke to a conference room full of grieving moms, and encouraged all of us to have an attitude of gratitude. I had to ponder what she was saying, but then I began to understand. It’s like looking at myself and my circumstances in the reflection of a mirror – and it will give me a vivid picture that pulses with the depth and pain of loss. I could choose instead to allow my grief and my pain to frame a window through which I can focus on my God who wants to wrap me in His love and His grace while He carries me through the journey of grieving the loss of my child, even while my love for my child never stops. And as I look through the window, I see my God and I recognize His gifts, and my heart can say Thank You. And I can choose the mirror or the window in whatever is happening in my life. I could even write down the gifts God has given/ is giving, in a Gratitude Journal, and simply tell God Thank You. Try it when you struggle in a relationship with him or her, or you’re struggling with the muck of life.......... – Bev (Related Bible reading: Luke 17: 11 - 19)