Utter Dependence

I have learned not to scream out “Why???!!!” to God. Although my understanding of God’s plan and God’s purposes does not put all the pieces together, still I know God has a plan and His purposes are taking all the splotchy, seemingly random, smears, and drips, and globs of paint, and He does have a big, big picture He is painting that one day will be an incredible display of His love and His goodness, with every original intent of His God-heart fully complete. I have learned instead to ask God, “What, God? What is it You want me to do? How do you want me to respond?” And as I ask, I beg for His wisdom and leading, for the warmth of His embrace, for a sense of stability. Utter dependence. An understanding of my own nothingness, and a realization of the bigness of my God and the vastness of His love, His grace, and His resources. Sitting in the muck, knowing the wretched reality of death and loss, of the selfishness and arrogance of others, of the shortness and struggles of life – sometimes my own up-close and personal reality, and sometimes the reality of others I care for and I share in the weight of their burden. Utter dependence. Giving as much as I know about myself, my need, my circumstances, the circumstances of others, to as much as I know about my God. Utter dependence. Preceded by brokenness. Bathed in grace. Reaching and clinging and wanting still more of the God who intensely loves me. Not doing, but waiting. Allowing God to create a reality of light and hope, direction and stability in the midst of a reality of darkness or pain or confusion. Utter dependence. And being okay with the whirlwind of emotions that can descend, knowing my God still has a plan, still has His purposes, still has a journey He has given me, and on that journey, He will carry me, enable me, and give me the privilege of reflecting His love and His grace to others. Utter dependence. I am reminded of God’s words. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled. You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. You’re blessed when you get your inside world --your mind and heart – put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.” God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I’m fearless no matter what. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. Utter dependence. – Bev (Related Bible reading: Matthew 5:3-8; Hebrews 13:5,6; Psalm 40)

Eternal Perspective

Job 23:10-11 “But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed His steps; I have kept to His way without turning aside.” Have you ever noticed that the storms in our lives not only drive us into the arms of our Savior, but our faith seems to grow exponentially in the midst of them? In Texas, the weather changes from moment to moment, and there was recently a heavy rain storm that came out of nowhere, causing the river to swell over 22 feet in 4 hours, surging over its banks, wreaking devastating havoc, snapping trees like they were toothpicks, swallowing up cars and homes and sweeping away sleeping children and families. The fallout was overwhelming. There are personal storms that each and every one of us face every day, and those storms may come out of nowhere and blind side us, knocking us off our feet, and, at times, may leave us debilitated. It seems that so many people I know are going through such difficult trials. One friend’s husband just died suddenly; another friend is going through treatment for stage 4 cancer, and another friend just lost her daughter. Faith is that God-given ability that allows us to put things in perspective, even in the midst of such unbearable tragedy. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” The Lord never ceases to amaze me that He strategically put these three beautiful ladies into my life right here and right now, just when I need them most and just when they needed our Savior’s hope. I know that my Father has equipped me and has prepared me for such a time as this and He has given me a divine opportunity to give away what has so freely been given to me. I can’t help but think about my eternal home in Heaven and my beautiful child who is waiting there for me there. It’s almost as if God has given me a whole new perspective about why I went through my own affliction and there is a yearning in my soul to share the peace He has given me in my own grief journey with those who are suffering in the same manner. What a beautiful story of redemption. Hebrews 13:14 says, “For this world is not our home, we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come.” I don’t understand everything God is doing, but I do know this, apart from Him there is no hope. And when we have hope, we have faith. We have a tendency to think that all the things happening on earth is all there is and we certainly live that way much of the time. I know that God has given me an eternal perspective since the loss of my son and I make every effort to live my life being about His business. I make myself available to Him in any capacity and it is my greatest desire to be in His service. And you know what, He has always honored that longing by allowing me to comfort others with the comfort I have received from Him. When we walk down the path together, with each other and with our Lord, He knows the way we should go as we walk closely in His footsteps without stumbling. – Melody

Love Changes Lives

“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” How much can love change a life? Let me count the ways. The Lord has blessed my life with people who love me and whom I have loved. My parents raised seven of us and showed us what unconditional love looked like. They gave me the love of family which I and my brothers and sisters hold on to. They gave me a love of faith in God which I chose to walk away from at the age of 21. Big mistake! At the age of 43, I found myself in a dark place. My life and my marriage were unraveling. My sister lovingly came to my house every day. Through tear stained eyes, I shared with her all that was wrong in my world with no hope to hold onto. She shared with me her newfound Savior. She told me how He loves me unconditionally and wanted healing in my life and marriage. Her love of Christ and her persistency brought me to a place of surrender. My sister’s love and the love of the Lord healed my marriage and my family. As I look back at that time, I know the Lord was preparing us for what was to come - the death of our daughter Katie. It was at that time that I was in a storm like no other, the storm of grief. I was holding on to the Lord with all I had. I was broken and battered. I needed a lifeboat, a safe place to rest. Unbeknownst to me there were two women preparing a lifeboat to come and rescue me. Donna Luke and Daisy Catchings Shader loved the Lord. They also had a love of moms who were in their own storm of grief. They wanted to comfort others as they had been comforted. Their love created Umbrella Ministries. I have witnessed how their love, compassion and encouragement has changed not only my life, but thousands of moms throughout the world. These two women not only wanted us to survive, but thrive. It wasn’t long before I was able to climb out of my boat and climb into another mother’s grief boat and give her a safe place. She in turn found a way out of her boat and so on and so on. Lord, through Your love and those who have been Your hands and feet, women have taken a leap of faith from their life boat and have found a life worth living. – Michele

Perfect Peace

Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.” As I turn my heart to the Lord this morning, my soul is filled with a mixture of emotions, a combination of gratitude and sadness. Today is my birthday and as I reflect on who I am and consider my journey on this earth, I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my God who has radically changed me into the woman He has intended me to be. My life is beautiful and amazing. I’m so incredibly blessed with a job that I love and a boss who is remarkably exactly what I have always prayed for, a lovely home, financial stability, wonderful friends, two loving dogs and perfect health. But, for some reason, on this day, I tend to look at what it isn’t and what I don’t have. Ten years ago today, we took my 22 year old son, Elisha, off life support. He passed away six days later, on June 19, 2015. My birthday has never quite been the same. It’s so easy to go down a rabbit trail once I begin to focus on what I don’t have instead of being grateful for the blessings the Lord has provided. So here I went spiraling into the negative thinking in my head. I woke up this morning feeling lonely since I am a single woman who longs to have a lifelong companion to share my life with. I went out to the barn to get a couple of buckets of dirt to fill up a newly planted palm tree that had been uprooted as a result of some heavy storms. I tried to sweep the pool, which had overflowed with muddy water from the torrential rains. I sat in the hot tub and thought about my day, I would be flying out to San Diego in a few hours to spend the weekend with my son, my sisters and my friends, but I really wanted a special person in my life to come with me, but that didn’t happen. Do you see where this is going? Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice today and be glad in it.” Then I sat down to spend some time with the One who has always been my constant companion and boy, did I get convicted. My first thought after I read these scriptures was how did I lose my peace? I have the most faithful, devoted Friend a person could have, Jesus. I am not alone, He is always with me. I have a huge barn filled with tools and things that I need and He has equipped me with everything I need to take care of things. I have a beautiful pool to sweep and in a few hours my son will be picking me up at the airport and we are going to the Fair. I have hotel reservations with my sisters on the beach in Coronado and my friends are meeting me for dinner tomorrow night. And just like that, my mind shifted back to a sense of excitement and anticipation of things to come because this is the day that the Lord has made, and when my mind is steadfast upon Him, I am in perfect peace. -- Melody

Receive Grace. Give Grace

I had learned the principle over the years, but there was a time when my awareness of the grace God had given to me in its totality, unreservedness, and even unfairness, because Jesus gave me His perfect rightness and exchanged it for my sin (2 Corinthians 5:21), the principle of my giving grace because I know the profundity of grace being received, overwhelmed me. And I gave, because God had given to me, in totality, unreservedness, and even unfairness. And in truth, I gave too because God’s grace enabled me. The Message paraphrase clearly shares with us a group of people who were blessed themselves by God’s grace. Their first response was a giving of themselves to God, and to give themselves in turn to others. Here is the account from “The Message." Now, friends, I want to report on the surprising and generous ways in which God is working in the churches in Macedonia province. Fierce troubles came down on the people of those churches, pushing them to the very limit. The trial exposed their true colors: They were incredibly happy, though desperately poor. The pressure triggered something totally unexpected: an outpouring of pure and generous gifts. I was there and saw it for myself. They gave offerings of whatever they could – far more than they could afford! – pleading for the privilege of helping out in the relief of poor Christians. This was totally spontaneous, entirely their own idea, and caught us completely off guard. What explains it was that they had first given themselves unreservedly to God and to us. The other giving simply flowed out of the purposes of God working in their lives. That’s what prompted us to ask Titus to bring the relief offering to your attention, so that what was so well begun could be finished up. You do so well in so many things—you trust God, you’re articulate, you’re insightful, you’re passionate, you love us—now, do your best in this, too. (2 Corinthians 8:1-7) What has pushed you to the limit?? What fierce troubles have been yours? Did you place those things in the hands of God and trust Him for His provision and care? Did you find yourself a recipient of God’s grace, either directly, or as He used the hearts, the hands, the love and compassion of others? Or maybe, the grace you are so certain of, came as Jesus’ sacrifice became the eradicator of your guilt, and you walked forward as a growing child of God to become more and more like His Son, Jesus? Whatever is your own story, our awareness of God immersing us in His grace, needs to flood our hearts with a gratitude that continually motivates us in our response to God Himself, but then also, in our responses to others. What are their needs? How can I share God’s grace with them? And my giving of grace may be helping with physical needs, or it may be a listening ear for someone else who has been pushed to the limits – someone who is broken by misunderstanding, or loss, others isolating them, or ........... Build the bridge of relationship. Walk with them in their grief. Share God’s truths of forgiveness. Encourage them by just being present. Fill some care-giving hours for them. That’s the pattern of God’s grace. Receive grace. Give grace. And give praise to God for all He gives, and for all He enables. Personally, there is no greater joy. – Bev

God's Grace

2 Cor. 12:9-10 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” A crisis will always reveal a person’s true character. A daily and private relationship of meeting and worshiping God is the essential element of spiritual fitness. If we are not developing that intimate relationship with our Creator every day, when a crisis comes, we will certainly fall flat and may even lose our bearing. Where are we drawing our strength in times of trouble? So often we look to the world and others around us; we pour out our story to a friend over coffee, or perhaps you are like me, and you just keep yourself busy hoping that the problem will just go away, and if I keep myself busy enough I won’t stop long enough to think about it. Unfortunately, when I lay my head down on my pillow at night, the problem is still there, plaguing me in my thoughts. How many of us actually lay each and every one of our troubles and concerns down at the foot of the cross the moment they occur? I used to attempt to handle my difficulties all by myself, because after all, I was quite capable and believed I was a very strong woman. I never wanted the world to know that inside, I was insecure and overwhelmed. Even though I met with the Lord each morning for a time of devotion, once I started my day, it was my will, my plans, my work, and my family that always came first. I lived for so many years as a pseudo person living behind a mask that I thought covered the real me. It was not until the death of my child that I became undone. For years I had been at war with my emotions, which I stuffed deep inside, and I never allowed anyone to see the real me. When this tragedy occurred, my emotions finally won out and the Lord revealed my true weakness and vulnerabilities. Hebrews 6:19-20 says “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.” My Savior pulled back the curtain only to reveal that it was Him all along who had been my strength, who had been my source, who had been at the center of my will. I am a different person today and I like who I am becoming. It is the real me who is filled with insecurities and doubts, but I am okay with that because His grace is sufficient for me today. – Melody

A Quiet Place

For many of us the words from Psalm 46:10 can frequently echo in our thinking in the midst of our busyness, our priorities, and/or our struggles. Be still, and know that I am God! A knowledge of our God. Not just a head knowledge, but a knowledge that saturates our hearts and meets us wherever life has us, and has an unquestionable, life impacting, alive and personal knowledge that our God is real, and He does the real and personal, for me, and for those I care about. Be still, and know that I am God! But, how do I do that??? Thinking about it, contemplating the possibility – both happen, but the “being still”is still just a foggy idea. Like most other things that need adjustment, we must have a want-to, but we must also be intentional, and actively pursue it. My friend does that. Her want-to is strong. Life has too many complexities, too many challenges, and she very much knows she is unable in her own strength and ability to even steady them enough to find the needed resolution. But she knows she is the daughter of the eternal, loving, enabling God, and HE CAN. Her choice is to be intentional, and in utter dependence on Him, actively pursue the stillness. She delights in taking a snack and her heart, and finding that quiet time with Jesus on a solitary park bench in a solitary cove of nature. And she finds the stillness, and her heart listens, and responds. Jesus walked the dusty streets where the people He loved, lived, and sometimes met many of those same people on a hilltop, or even at the Jewish temple, or someone’s home. But Jesus also wanted time to be alone with His Father, in quietness and intimacy. And He intentionally would find those times, just as we are encouraged to do the same. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35) “Jesus went out to a mountain side to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him.” (Luke 6:12-13) “The news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:15-16) Our Pastor Joey frequently reminds us to find the stillness, and often gives some practical options for finding God’s answers in that quietness. I am blessed to have a quiet place within my home where I can be still, and grow in the knowledge of my God. But, I must still have a want-to, be intentional, and actively pursue that knowledge with a listening and responsive heart. And in your own busyness, priorities, or struggles, if stillness with God is only a foggy idea, or even a difficult one, all that God longs to give in the stillness, may evade us. Reach intentionally! Be still, and know that I am God! And know that He is real, and He will do the real and personal for you! – Bev