Remembering our children...

To remember is to acknowledge life.
To remember is to give expression to my heart.
To remember is to honor and to cherish.

If you would like to share how you have remembered
your own child, please email Leslie

Randy Roy Chaney 7-5-1985 - 08-11-2011
Randy loved theater, he was always the class clown and loved to make people smile.  Blue hair and all he stood out from the crowd.  He was always the one to volunteer to help whether it was to move furniture, cook or helping his 90 year old grandmother down the stairs.  He also had a passion for helping kids, beginning with his own, Nick and Lucas.  Randy was a teacher, a summer camp director and a Church youth worker. He had a passion for teaching children about Jesus and helping them realize their own potential.  Not a day goes by that I don't miss him, but I know, as David said of his son who died, " Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me" NLT 2 Sam12:23b  Until we me again Son....I Love you..Mom

My Son
A tribute to my son, Timothy Killian
3/5/1991 – 7/4/2012

God blessed me with a son,
one of three.
He was the one who stayed close to me.
We'd talk each week.
Together we loved to cook and eat.
We understood each other quite well.
We loved to chat as we sat a spell;
Hopes and dreams, plus homework due.
His friends and classmates and what they knew.
His heart so big,
His childlike faith so deep.
As we prayed in church, His arm 'round me he’d keep.
I knew his hurts, his secrets too.
Watched him as in stature and faith he grew.

God saw my son,
his faith and strife,
and offered him a better life.
Your mission is done here on earth.
Come dine with me in heaven's berth.
I offer you no more sorrow, no more pain.
Earth's loss is heaven's gain.

Oh son, I miss you so!
God asked me to let you go
into His loving embrace.
God rest your soul.

Kathy Cline remembers Matt............

For My Boy, With All My Heart

Happy Birthday to my special little boy,
Who came into my life and brought so much joy.
Born with a bright smile that I couldn't resist,
And a lovable face that was often kissed.

Early mornings you came to peel open my eye,
Yelling out, "The sun is up! It's good morning time!"
Over the years, I've watched you learn and grow,
Impressing me more than you could ever know.
 Thoughtful and generous, playful, happy, adventurous,
All the way through your teens, this is what you showed to us.
Trying to make sense of a world full of sin,
You hung onto God, refusing to give in.

You kept a part of yourself hidden way deep inside,
With you and the world there was a great divide.
You left us too soon, you were still just a child,
The enemies lies, you could have reviled.
God had great plans and immense purpose for your life
Who knows?  A physical therapist, scientist, kids, and a wife.
Handsome and intelligent, mischievous and fun,
The moments that were to be are left undone.

The Lord did not abandon you, He was right by your side,
Weeping along with you, His grace was applied.
Your sins are forgiven through the death of God's Son,
This you believed, your soul He will not shun.

I will never understand the reason why.
My will to go on, God needs to supply.
Your life will still count, by the grace of our Lord,
Despite the hurt and pain, you are restored.

Your life left a legacy of love and of grace,
I'm certain you can see this in your new dwelling place.
I love you my son, you are terribly missed
My faith in God I will continue to persist.


Short stories about our children.........
Thoughts from some of our moms at Summer Break
August 24, 2013


Ernie’s mom........
Ernie was a bright, happy, funny boy.  He would light up any room he walked into.  His smile, his eyes – who can ever forget his handsome face.  I was blessed April 15, 2007, with a gift from God........ April 5, 2013, my son went home to the Lord.  I won’t ever forget that phone call.  My son was hit by a car in front of his Dad and 3 year old sister, Mya.  Since that day, my heart is always broken.  But, I do thank the Lord for having my son.  He was too good for this world, and there is no better place than God’s Kingdom.  Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  (Matthew 19:14) 

Kyle’s mom..........
Kyle Alan, my precious, sweet, innocent, special boy.  You worked so hard and you were so strong through all the challenges life brought you.  Kyle was autistic and non-verbal, but he spoke volumes with his smile, hugs, and laughter.  Mommy, Daddy, and Dylan love and will miss you forever.

Cathy’s mom.........
Cathy was such a giving person.  Even though she suffered from severe depression, she loved to make other people happy.  She enjoyed making cards for people and had to put cute stickers all over the card and envelope.  She loved to color pictures out of coloring books and give them to people.  There wasn’t a selfish bone in her body.  She gave several of her Build-a-Bears with complete outfits on them to people she met in the hospital.  She really had a heart for less fortunate people.  She shared her faith in Jesus with others also.  What an example of courage she was.  She fought the good fight for 40 years and she is now with Jesus, safe, well, and happy.  I love you, Cathy.
Mom

Sonja’s mom........
I am sitting here thinking about you, Sonja, trying to pick just one special moment in your life that stands out.  There are so many, but one comes back to mind over and over again.  When we “potty” trained you, Dad and I always told you, “Big Girl,” and we would clap our hands.  Remember one time you pushed Dad’s bathroom door open.  He was going “potty” and you came running out saying, “Mommy, Daddy Big Girl!  He went potty!”  All this time you were clapping your little hands.  Sonja, oh, how we still love you.
Your Mom

Corban’s mom.......
I did not have any child care when my children were young, so I had to take them with me when I was getting my massage.  My daughter, Corban, was about 4.  She wandered into the therapy room and the therapist welcomed her.  The therapist discussed with Corban the benefits of massage therapy.  Later, I walked into the kitchen where she had her fish placed on a towel, giving it a massage.  She stroked her fish with her finger.  Later when the fish died, she could not understand.  She had taken such good care of her fish.

Tom’s mom........
I miss my only son, Thomas R. Francis, who was a very good and loving son and friend.  He did pranks sometimes and made me laugh!  He was a good student and baseball player.  He was active in Civil Air Patrol – jumped with a parachute at 16, and had the dream to fly.  In college he was ROTC and entered the Navy to go to flight school in Florida where he met Courtney, the love of his life!  He was to marry in June, 1996, but he crashed in his plane and went to Heaven February 24, 1996. 

Carla and Brian’s mom..................
Grieving is a journey.  One week after Carla’s death, I chose to grieve by collaging my pain with words and pictures that expressed how it felt to have a broken heart.  One month after her death, I collaged a celebration of her life.  That, along with journaling, enabled me to express all the many and overwhelming feelings of losing a precious child.  One year later, my son, Brian, died.  What shocking news to my already grieving heart.  Again, more grieving.  It felt unbearable, but God was with me, held me in my pain, and cried right along with me.  He comforted me with His Word which sustained me through it all.  “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  (Philippians 4:13)   Healing has come because of God’s grace and mercy.  From the depths of pain comes hope and healing.  God is good and always brings good out of tragedy.


Honoring and remembering our children......
Thoughts from some of our moms at Tea and Testimonies
August 18, 2012

Sierra’s mom.......
Every year we participate in the CHOC Walk and the OC Walk to remember and honor our daughter, Sierra Rose.  Through fund-raising, we hope to help these organizations help other families who suffer a loss.

Jennifer’s mom......
I would like to continue in serving our dear Lord and honoring our daughter, Jennifer, through Umbrella Ministries wherever the good Lord puts me.  I will pray and then do what the Lord wills in Umbrella Ministries.  I am blessed to be here.

Richie’s mom......
I have a candle holder that was given to me when Richie died by another mom who had lost her son.  I light the candle on holidays and put it somewhere on the table.  It’s my way of having him at our family gatherings and gives me comfort whether or not anyone else knows.

Karla’s mom......
I wrote Karla a letter and read it to her at the place that she was buried.  I visit her gravesite and bring silk flowers at least once a year.  I tell her I will see her in Heaven.

Natalie’s mom......
Rose’s Reading Room is a place at Natalie’s home church in Indiana for children to go to read and learn computer.  (Natalie’s favorite pastime was reading.)

Jerad’s mom......
Set up a scholarship, “Jerad C. Waggener Scholarship” at the high school he graduated from, to give seniors for college costs.

Mark’s mom.....
How can I honor Mark?  I guess by honoring You, Lord, with all I have and all I am.  I know what Mark would want of me is to take care of his children – I feel that is impossible at this point.  I can only pray for them and leave them in the Lord’s tender, loving care.

Cathy’s mom......
I am finishing a ceramic piece Cathy started and I am going to do two others she purchased.  So I am going to the same class she attended for some 20 years, same class, same teacher.  I think she would be pleased that I want to finish what she started.  Also, I am going to help with KaPOW in the fall, our church’s Wednesday night program for kids.  She cared about people and was always giving of herself.  I would like to be like her.  She was an example of God’s love to me and to others.

Matt’s mom......
Matt, when you left us, you left your truck, or the re-constructing of your truck into an off-road truck.  Your sister is now having a very good friend of yours, who is so pleased to complete the work, finish the truck the way you had envisioned it.  We will always remember you in the garage at all hours of the night, and now your truck will be completed and you will always be in our hearts, and we will always know you are with us.

Kenneth’s mom.......
This past Christmas, the first one without our son, we took the money we would have spent on Christmas gifts for him, and donated it in Kenneth’s memory to a local charity that serves the struggling families in our community.  We will expand that thought next year by encouraging others in our large family to do some work of charity or give a donation in Kenneth’s memory.  We will hang Kenneth’s Christmas stocking where everyone can note their contribution and put it in his stocking.

Ryan’s mom......
I honor my son, Ryan, by staying close to his friends. ...  I honor my son, Ryan, by joining with his friends in establishing a scholarship fund for “Semester at Sea.”  This was a college experience that brought him so much joy.  We all know how much he would want to share it. ...  I honor my son, Ryan, by lighting candles and sharing stories and poems he has written.

Daniel’s mom......
Daniel and his sister spent several summers in Mexico at a mission.  I contacted the mission and asked if I could sponsor a child who, because of the economy, maybe had lost their sponsor.  I have been sponsoring a young man for three and a half years.  I know Daniel would be happy. ... I try to do a “Daniel Act of Kindness” every day.  Sometimes it is just giving other drivers grace, and other days it is buying diapers for a student’s baby.  (I work at a community college in LA.)

Ameera’s mom......
I would like to help, reach out, to other people, create a beautiful garden, and celebrate the life I had with my daughter, Ameera. These are the few things I would do in honor of my child.  I would also like to continue and move forward in life with my other two kids without holding on too much to Ameera’s memories, and be there for my family when they need me, and give hope to other people.  I have to stay strong and be more focused.

John’s mom.......
I have become involved in Together in His Arms.  It gives me the opportunity to help with the organization’s functions.  Sharing my son’s story is providing an outlet to keep his memory alive.

James and Timothy’s mom......
We as a family get together on the birthdays of my two sons and we have dinner together.

Alfred’s mom......
I donated gifts to moms who have or are still going through the pain of the loss of a child.  I want to donate time to other women who are hurting.  I want to listen more to women who just want to talk and who just need someone to be there.

Michael’s mom......
I choose to live every day to honor my child, to love Jesus, and to live with Him, here on earth, as well as when we meet in Heaven. 

Tonia’s mom....... 
I choose to give back because I have been given so much.  I want to give back to my God who has given and given and given again and who has brought purpose from the anguish of sorrow.  I want to give back to other moms, because it was “other moms” who allowed me to understand my grief, who gave words to feelings and thoughts I had stuffed away, and who taught me the precious gift of supporting those who grieve.

Two precious pre-born babies, their mom.......
On my bracelet I have two hearts, one of each side of the charm that represents my living son.  That is my way of honoring their lives.

Emma Kay’s mom.......
I have planted a tree in memory of Emma Kay.  I get comfort in seeing it bloom each spring.  I would however like to throw her a birthday party.

JoJo’s mom......
What I do to honor my child, JoJo, is I go and spend time with him at his resting place.  This is so therapeutic for me.  I also do maintenance on his garden at his grave and make sure it always looks good and his headstone stays shining.  Once a year, my family and I participate in a memorial walk with my group, Together in His Arms.  I love doing this for him.  I also make it a big deal for his anniversary and his birthday.  I invite family and friends to join me to honor my son on these special days, and they come to support me.  I also stay connected with other mommy’s that are on the same journey as me.

Megan’s mom......
To honor the memory of my Megan Lauren, forever loved, 2/23/80 - 3/8/11, I contribute weekly thanksgiving offerings to our church’s recovery ministry, as they helped my daughter so much in her life.  I plan on creating a scholarship for women in need of rehab and/or support for physically and mentally abused women.

Jason’s mom......
To honor Jason’s memory, my older son and I went to Jason’s gravesite when his “marker” was being installed and brought balloons in his favorite color, orange.  He loved that color since he was born on Halloween.  We each wrote several messages on the balloons and then released them and proceeded to watch our balloons float up into the heavens, knowing Jason is in Heaven and we will join him some day.

Mark’s mom.......
When my son, Mark, 17 years old, died of an unintentional drug overdose, I was so shocked, sad, and  devastated.  I wanted something good to come out of something so tragic, but I was in so much shock.  I didn’t know what to do.  I started a “Make a Mark Foundation” to help kids who have overcome adversity.  I have given several scholarships out in Mark’s honor to kids in Mark’s high school that wanted to go to college.  Mark loved school. ... Also, I wanted to help raise awareness of this huge Rx drug epidemic.  My friend, Natalie Costa, executive producer of the Performing Arts in Laguna Hills, wanted to help me do something too.  Natalie’s daughter, Brianne, and Mark were childhood friends, and Brianne was devastated to lose Mark.  Natalie produced a film called, “Behind the Orange Curtain,” which now has won several film awards and is being shown all over the nation.

Andrew’s mom......
I honor my child by being as loving and kind as I can.  I reach out to other hurting moms in his memory.  I cherish my other children more because of him and I take care of myself to honor my child.

Noah’s mom......
For the past three years, I have honored my son at Relay for Life.  I host/captain the “9D Years for Noah” team and every year, our team walks 2,972 laps, one for each day of Noah’s life.  Each team member receives a necklace with Noah’s name on it and strips of paper attached to it on which I have typed actual dates from his life.  Each day walked is pulled from the necklace, announced at our table, and placed in a clear paint can.  At the end of the walk, the can is full and the blessing of his life clearly visible.  Each person who walks for Noah is touched by his life and thinks of him as they walk.  I have also started “9D Years for Noah” which is a non-profit to help and support children and their families as they face and fight cancer or other life threatening situations.

Three precious pre-born babies, their grandma.......
This is not a day of grief for me, but the first day I have publically honored the three precious pre-born babies that God received in Heaven before we had a chance to see or hold them.  I am so honored to be their grandmother and I look forward to the day I meet them face to face in Heaven upon God’s timing, which is always perfect.

Kyle’s mom......
On Kyle’s birthday, we donate books to his school library.  He loved to read, so now other children learn about him while they enjoy reading.  That is how we honor his memory.  Each book has his picture inside the cover.

Christie’s mom......
Christie’s death has been a blessing from God.  I miss her, but I know who I have believed in, Jesus Christ, that He is real and His promises are true.  Plus, we will be reunited.  Time is so fast and I have many treasures in Heaven to see very soon.  Jesus is #1.  God is in total control.

Nathanal’s mom......
To honor the memory of my son I have shared about his life.  I have loved well those that are living.  And, I have given compassion to those who needed a physical touch from God.

Cindy Fedele remembers John.....

I had originally started to make a quilt. My son had this horrible, HORRIBLE, mustard-yellow suit.  He called it his "Steve Harvey Suit."  It would make a beautiful quilt.  I found my pattern, and sat down to cut the pattern, but couldn't do it.  I could hear my son John yelling at me, "Mom, what are you doing???  That's my favorite suit!"  So I stopped and went through a box of clothes, and pulled out a dress shirt.  I figured, baby steps, I'll make a bear.  John was a huge Raiders fan, so I decided to make him a reversible vest.  It has turned out, this BEAR is always in my truck. So he goes everywhere I go.  Sometimes, he even goes in with me to visit whoever I am visiting.




Jessica Holt remembers Joey.......

My son, Joey Holt, an active, healthy 7 year-old, died on November 5, 2009 from complications stemming from the H1N1 flu virus. Joey was not vaccinated against the flu because I – like a lot of people – believed the flu was no big deal. I never thought something like this could happen to our family. After all, it was just the flu, right? Wrong! Influenza, “the flu,” is a deadly disease as I have come to learn the hard way. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more people die each year from the flu and resulting complications than from all vaccine-preventable diseases combined!

Since Joey’s death, we have formed the Joey Holt Foundation to focus on community outreach to educate parents, caregivers and our youth on the severity of the flu and the absolute importance of being vaccinated EVERY year.

I’m not sure what brought you here, but after you hear my story, please help me honor Joey’s life by spreading the word. If you simply share the link below with at least one other person, you may save a life. I believe that if I had met me – a parent who wants to turn back the clock but can’t – before this happened, I would have taken action. 

Our love for Joey is the fuel that will continue to drive our advocacy on behalf of all people – especially moms – in hopes that another parent will never have to walk a day in my shoes.

 
Mylah Brown remembers Elijah........

My Brother
by Mylah Brown

My brother, my brother, my brother is fun.
My brother, my brother, my number one.
He is my everything, so loving and kind.

My brother, my brother, he is all mine.
As brother and sister, we fought and we laughed.
As brother and sister, the kitchen we staffed.
He is my everything, he is my smile.

As brother and sister, we walk the same mile.
From the closet he bounded with a shout and a BOO!
He’d scare me so badly, what’s a sister to do?

Big brother, big brother, my partner in crime.
Big brother, big brother, what crazy fun times.
With my big brother.

We had ups and downs.  But that is the life
You live with the Browns.
My teammate, my coach, in how to throw ball.
My teammate, my coach, in how to climb walls.

We laughed and we danced, and he tickled me silly.
He would dare me to eat, Grandpa’s spicy green chile.
With sweat on his brow and dirt on his nails
Always counting on him without ever a fail.

Oh brother, oh brother, my one and only
With my big brother, I will never be lonely.
With a wink and a nod he would encourage me on.
Me and my brother have an unbreakable bond.

As brother and sister, we played in the snow.
As brother and sister on the slopes of Tahoe.
He chased me for fun through the hallway and den,
Where I tripped, stumbled and busted my chin.

Big brothers are rough, big brothers are tough.
Big brothers are wild, and rarely are mild.
My brother, my roommate, his room was mine.
My brother, my playmate most of the time.

At school that we shared with teachers that cared.
He watched over me so I wouldn’t be scared.

Elijah and me, we played by the sea.
Elijah and me, digging in sand with big sister, Libby.
We play in the waves, we run in the sand.
Elijah and me, we walk hand in hand.

Big brown eyes, golden brown hair,
Going through life without ever a care.
Happy go lucky, a skip in his stride,
A perfect young boy, singing with pride.

My brother, my angel with me every day.
My brother, my angel like the warmth of Sun ray.
Protecting my steps as big brothers do.
Leading the path, we are of the same crew.

He is my brother, a proud little sis.
He is the star that sends down a kiss.
Forever with me deep in my heart.
Forever with me, never apart.

(In loving memory of my brother, Elijah
7/29/93 - 11/17/05)

Jeannette Taylor remembers Lacey...... 

A Dear Friend who is a seamstress/artist designed my wonderful Laceybag.  I had all this clothing which of course I could NOT get rid of, but it just stayed in a box and I wanted so much to do something with it.  At the Umbrella Conference in 2010, I saw someone with a cute denim bag, a bit unusual, and asked about it.  She said it was made from her son's jeans.  Wow, I thought I could have something done to make a bag from Lacey's things.

When Joyella gave me this bag I cried tears of joy at  the creativity, beauty and memories each thing had for me.  I could see Lacey in her swim suit, in her Mudd shirt, her denim dress and on it goes. What a huge blessing.    You all know this bag is PRICELESS. (Although with all the hours, it cost me about $120.)        
         
(in memory of Lacey, Nov. 16, 1988 to Dec. 3, 2002)


 
Delcie Hynes  remembers Scarlett......
A number of years ago I found some beautiful fabric that I hoped to one day use in a nursery.  When we found out we were expecting our first daughter, I ultimately decided to go a different way for her nursery so I saved the fabric that I loved so much hoping to be able to use it in a future project.  After suffering a stillborn loss at 26 weeks, I found Umbrella Ministries.  Through them I was connected to a wonderful group of moms who have helped me work through the grief of this loss.  In 2009 I attended the Journey of the Heart conference and when it was over, I told Daisy I would be making a quilt for her to use as she thought was appropriate.  I went home and created the hearts from the fabric I loved so much in memory of my daughter, Scarlett Noel.  During the early days of my grief, I clung to the words of songs and scripture that spoke to me.  I decided to incorporate those into the quilt in hopes that they would provide the same comfort to someone else.  It is my prayer that the mom who wraps herself in this quilt will be comforted by God's perfect peace as she walks through her own grief journey.  Thank you, Umbrella Ministries, for the love and support you have shown me and all the moms out there who have suffered the loss of a child.






Sali Edwards remembers Christopher......
I spotted a quilt on the family room couch of a friend I met through Umbrella Ministries that her surviving adult son had someone make for his parents with parts and pieces of his brother's jeans, favorite shirts, and military uniform, etc. I fell in love with it and inquired if she was able to obtain the name of the woman that had created the quilt for her. I had somehow, sentimentally over the decades, kept many items and scraps of fabric that I was "going to do something with someday," and the result became a beautiful queen-size quilt with the Fabrics of a Family that included: Christopher's work shirt from his first real job, basketball, football, track and lacrosse team shirts, his favorite boxers (!), the bumper guard I made for his crib, leftover scraps from a bedroom valance, Christmas vests I made him and his brother as young boys, assorted tees, even a baby tee, employee work shirts, and other precious items that evoke such tender or amusing memories.......

For those who would like to do something similar, contact Quilt Queens, Anaheim, CA,714-776-6574.


 Ray Edwards remembers Christopher too......

The Path
Ray Edwards 2004

In my hour of deep despair I reach out for a way
That will lift me up enough to make it one more day
I reach out to the one I trust that always knows the way
I reach out to my savior Christ to help me through this day

Though my life has not been grand and many sins are there
He reaches down from heaven above because he really cares
For I am to follow the path that he has made
I try so hard but in my path many obstacles are laid

I try so hard to follow down the path he chose
Satan nipping at my heals as down that path I go
I don’t look back because I know the demons are behind
And just in front a few more steps some solitude I‘ll find

My faith can never dwindle, for it’s the only way
That I will make it down that precious path today
For Jesus is my savior and he holds my key
To life everlasting and freedom from misery.