The words in the Our Daily Bread devotional permeated my spirit. We all have things that we hold dear. We may have thought, I could never part with that. It may be a new truck, a coat, some other possession, or our precious few free hours during the week. Will we be open to give...? O Father, those are things, just things, replaceable, subject to deterioration, temporary things. You have asked me to give a part of who I am, part of my being, part of the deep inner spirit of me. Father, the price cannot be paid with a check or a credit card. Even “time” is a commodity that can sometimes be reclaimed with foresight and planning. The “me” You have asked for is still fragile, although Your grace has given strength and freedom beyond my imagination. It is the opening of a wound once again, a wound that has been saturated with Your healing, and yet a wound that still has a very tender place. A tender place that remembers. A tender place that draws back from the hurt, the struggle, the shards of misunderstanding, the penetration of lies that crippled. How can I say “no” though to You? You are the one who has suffered far more than I ever will. You are the one who gave everything, and then it seems, You gave still more. You are the one who has cleansed, and brought beauty from the ashes. And I have been privileged to see the beauty, to experience it, to give it to others. You have enriched me, taught me, directed me, broadened my potential – and sooo many times, not “in spite of,” but, “because of.” Why then is it all so hard??? I know Your grace will sustain. I know Your arms will carry me. I know the God You have always been will be unchanging. But still, it is hard. And, in the difficulty of giving in ways I have not given before, in the difficulty of what You have asked, I still know I cannot and I will not say no. And I know that in my “yes,” You will be honored, and in my “yes,” I want others to see You. I want others to know there is a reality of God-given strength, and beauty, and purpose that arises from the fragility, the tender place, the memories.
Some of you can identify with my struggle. Life has been broken in some way. The pain has been deep, and yet, God has met you, just as He has met me, over and over and over. It is a pain though that will never fully go away. God has softened it and God has woven it into the very fabric of who you are. You have embraced it, you have grown because of it, and you are incredibly aware of what God has done. Today you are identified by the relationship you have with the God who has loved you, and continues to love you, with a sacrificial, stubborn, transforming, enabling love. And God has been speaking to you. Will you walk with another? Will you share My grace? Will you allow the healing I have already brought to you to touch the life of someone who is desperate for just a taste of healing? Will you do it, not just in the ways you have chosen, but in the ways I have chosen for you? My grace will sustain you. My arms will carry you. It will be hard, but I will forever be, your Unchanging One.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: 2 Corinthians 1:2-7)
