Isaiah 61:3 “And provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
Our enemy Satan is always on the prowl. You would think when we have just lost something so precious as our child, he would give us a break. The Bible describes him as a roaring lion, and he seems to be famished when he prowls around a grieving mom. This is when he is at his strongest, when we are at our weakest. Our grief can become a stronghold on our life. When we choose to do nothing tangible or positive with our emotions that are justified, we will forever be in a state of bondage. The deciding factor is the presence of the Lord in our life. It is not just belief in the Lord, but an ever present relationship with Him and standing on His promises.
When we suffer the loss of a child, it is a significant loss that delivers a pain that is indescribable. We who put our faith in Christ have a place of refuge, a place to draw our courage from. We can renew our souls through prayer, worship and opening up God’s word. We know God can make possible what we see only as impossible. It is when we stand in God’s truth that we can grieve in a godly way and see firsthand how He can take ashes and turn them to beauty. We are never more beautiful to our God than when we fight the good fight.
I know of a family who had six children. One day, one of these six children was killed in a tragic accident. The mother and father for whatever reason ran from the Lord. The mother shut down and shut herself into her bedroom for two years. The father, on the other hand, lashed out in anger to everyone in the household. They shut down as a people, as a couple and as parents. A little boy at five, left in a house with a mother and father shut down, and no one to listen to him and his pain. Flash forward twenty years from that event and you can see the path of destruction Satan left. That five year old little boy grows into a man and now struggles with anger when he feels his wife and children do not listen to him. He feels like he is back at being that hurt little five year old boy, calling out for a parent to listen to his voice. I am not relating this story to be judgmental toward this family. They eventually found their way back to the Lord. They themselves would tell you they did not handle their grief in a healthy way. The consequences are still being felt after all these years. Wrong choices in grieving will produce difficult consequences for our families in the future.
We cannot avoid this trial by shutting ourselves up in a room because eventually we will have to open that door and see what damage has been done in our absence. This is not the Lord’s plan for us or for our families. He is trying to refine us, to make us better people. We will not be perfect in our grief, but we can try to do as little collateral damage as we possibly can. Don’t let this trial be in vain. Walk through it, love through it, and learn through it, and see the crown of beauty He has waiting for you.
Lord, oh how this grief hurts, but we know You have a plan for us, plans to prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us a future and a hope and a crown of beauty instead of ashes.
