1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”
When I was a little girl, I loved Christmas. I was the oldest of seven and the excitement around my house was at an all time high. I am sure we must have driven our parents crazy. We would hardly sleep the night before Christmas. The seven of us would sleep in the same room waiting in anticipation for Santa to arrive. We would each swear that we heard Santa and his reindeer as they landed on our roof. It all seemed so real to us when our imaginations were so open. Had Santa thought we had been good throughout the year? Were we naughty or nice? He must have thought we were well behaved children because I always felt so happy on Christmas morning. I can remember my disappointment when I learned he did not exist, and all along it had been my parents. Now that I am older, I am so amazed when I think of how much my parents had to sacrifice to give seven children such wonderful Christmas memories.
I remember a time when I was younger believing God was a little like Santa. I believed that as long as I was doing things to please God, I would never have to go through the hard stuff. I might have a few bumps along the road, but I would be spared the difficult trials. I had believed that if I did what I was taught in school obeying the Ten Commandments, praying and being kind, that I would be protected from the real bad things that can happen in life. This was what my view of God was. We had an understanding. Then I grew up and life started to happen, and bad things did happen, and I soon found that I felt tricked. My faith was tested far beyond when I lost Katie. How could this happen? I had tried to do all I could humanly do to live my life the way I thought God expected. I was very seldom naughty and most of the time I tried to be nice. Somehow I must have disappointed Him. I was facing adult trials with a belief that was only for the world of make-believe.
It is hard to face very real trials with an immature faith. I had to take a good hard look at my belief and grow up. What I have since learned about this God I serve is that I had the same expectations for Him as I did Santa. I found that God does not always give us the easy road. We are often faced with many hardships that do not have many answers or an easy way out. What He does give us is His love and strength to guide us on this journey if we trust in Him and turn to Him. He has given me a faith that will carry me through all of life’s trials. He has brought me through the loss of my daughter, and I know Santa could not achieve that!
Lord, though our life sometimes seems unfair and very scary to us, we place our hope in You.
