1 Chronicles 28:20 “David also said to Solomon his son, ‘Be strong and courageous and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.’”
In the early stages of our grief many people would comment on the strength they witnessed in both my husband and myself. We often heard, “You are both so strong.” I am sure many of you have heard the same comment. Webster’s definition of strong means an ability to endure stress, pain or hard use without giving out. I don’t know about you, but that is not at all how we felt. Neither one of us felt we had the ability to endure the stress or pain we were engulfed in. In fact, the antonym for strong is delicate, frail, weak, and they even use the word wimpy. Those would be the words I would use to describe how my husband and I both felt in the early stages of our grief. As I think back on this, I think what people might have seen in us, and in each one of you, is courage. Courage is the ability to carry on in the face of adversity. The loss of one of our children is always the worst thing as a parent we could imagine having to go through. When we face the loss of a child we are entering uncharted territory. We have most of the time never experienced a loss like this, unless you are one of those couples who have been in this place before. Even for you, it is a different time, different circumstances and a different child. The pressures on the individual and the marriage can bring us to a breaking point. It takes all the courage we can muster to continue to live on. We find ourselves in a place facing our lives without this child whom we loved so much. We might have to look at ourselves and each other for our shortcomings in the life of this child and then have the courage to forgive ourselves and each other. We will on some days have to put our own heartache on hold to reach out and help our spouse who might be inconsolable. We might find that we are not the one who can console them at that moment and we feel rejected, but we will have to find the courage to offer our open arms again and again. The most courageous thing we can do is admit we are hurting, admit we can’t do this alone and reach out to those who love us. The work that accompanies grief will be the hardest thing we will ever do. Just like the cowardly lion who was immobilized by his fear, we need to ask for the courage and the strength of the Lord to accomplish the work of grief so we can once again live a full and meaningful life.
Lord, we are so thankful we can turn to You in our time of need. You tell us to be of good courage and You will strengthen our hearts. That is a promise we can depend on.
