John 15:11 “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
In his book, “Quiet Times for Couples,” Norman Wright poses this question. What has brought you and your partner the greatest joy in your marriage? He writes that many people equate joy with fun, which is usually based on circumstances. Joy however defies our circumstances. It can be present even when times are tough.
I have never really given it much thought. Like most marriages, my husband and I have experienced many happy times. We also have had our struggles. I have given this question some time to settle in my mind and my heart and you will be surprised by my answer. I know I am. What has brought me the greatest joy in my marriage came at a time we both found ourselves in the deepest pain. I don’t want you to misunderstand what I am saying. The loss of my daughter was a tragedy for both of us. The pain we both felt was indescribable, and to think of myself joyful during this time was hard for me to see. Now when I look back, where did I find the joy? I found the joy in the fact that we as a couple drew together to console and comfort each other. I found the joy in all of those who walked beside us and carried us and still carry us in our loss. I have found joy in the fact that together as a couple we have survived the storm. I continue to find the joy in God’s presence as we continue to look to the only One who could give us His peace in the storm. It is in our faith in the Lord where true joy is found. Tim Hansel in his book, “You Gotta Keep Dancin’,” wrote, “Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.” We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy. Joy is simple. At any moment in life we have at least two options, and one of them is to choose an attitude of gratitude, a posture of grace, a commitment to joy. Whether you are married or going through this time of grief alone, you might not see anything that can bring you joy. I pray you will continue to look to the Lord for your peace and comfort and in time, that is where you will find the joy that only He can give.
Lord, whether we do this dance through grief alone or with our spouse, our true joy is found in You.
