Malachi 4:2 “But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.”
As I listened to the young veteran speak, my heart broke as he described his brokenness. A young man, whose hopes and dreams were shattered by a war. It not only blew up his future but it caused the maiming of his entire body. He was missing two legs and an arm that were forever taken from him in the instant it takes for an IED to blow up. His physical scars he wore just as he wore the medals pinned on his uniform for all to see. The emotional scars were not quite as evident until he shared his story. He described a time of complete despair. When he looked in the mirror he could not come to terms with the image that was looking back at him. It was a time of darkness and unbelievable hopelessness. It was during this time he came to the end of himself. In the stillness of the moment he heard a voice asking him a question that would forever change his life. The voice spoke and he heard, “So do you think I no longer have a plan for you, a need for you, just because you are missing your arms and legs? You still have so much that I can use to benefit others.” He said for him this was his alleluia moment, a time to praise Yahweh. He has found his voice. A voice he uses to make beautiful music for others to hear. He is an encouragement to all. He even goes so far to say that he is more whole today than any other time in his life.
We too are just like this young man. We have been to war and now are in the fight of our life. If you were to turn our souls inside out, we would look like that young man. Our faith has been broken apart. Our future life has been changed. We too are like this young man having to find a way to live with a love that has been amputated from our life here on earth. The very idea of living another day takes all of our strength and then some. So what can we glean from this young soldier? How in the awfulness of loss and death did he find beauty in life? He became still and cried out to the only one who could lift him up on eagle’s wings. He soon realized he had still so much left of himself to be used. In his loss of his arms and legs he became grateful for what he did have. He found his voice. He found an attitude of gratitude. He also once again found a purpose, a purpose to look beyond his own pain and to reach out to help others. We can take all that life has given us and stand frozen in that place of sorrow, fear, anger and guilt, but we will soon find that will blow up and destroy us and those we love. We often hear people make comments about couples who have lost a child. Those comments might go something like this. “After they lost their child they were never the same.” We can let Satan have his way. His way is to use this loss of our child to destroy us. Or we can use this loss to let God strengthen us and change us for the better. We have survived our worst nightmare, but God wants more than just surviving. Our child’s life was a gift that was given to us. Yes, that gift was taken from our life way too soon. Our child’s story is not over. The life and death of our child has now become a big part of our story. So how do we want the story to end? That will be up to each one of us here. If we not only go through grief but grow through grief, what a gift that is for each one of us and what a testimony that is for our children. Maybe one day we will be able to say just like that young veteran, “Even though I still have an amputated heart, I am more whole now than any other time in my life.”
Lord, you can make a man without legs leap for joy and sing Hallelujah. We who have a broken heart wait eagerly for our Hallelujah moment.
– Michele
