Psalm 31:4 “Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.”
As I have shared many times before, my husband likes to take me out of my comfort zone when it comes to anything that has to do with physical activity. Whoever put it in his head that it would be a good idea to take a bike to the top of a mountain and proceed to ride up and down on a dirt path, I would love to give them a piece of my mind. On these dirt trails, you sometimes find yourself dodging bushes, boulders and crevices which can have you off the bike in a minute.
My first time finding myself facing this challenge, my heart was beating and I white-knuckled my way down the mountain going way too fast and holding on for dear life. As I looked forward towards the trail, I spotted a curve in the road and at that curve was a huge boulder. I repeated over and over again in my head, “Don’t hit that rock. Whatever you do, don’t hit that rock!” Well, guess what? I hit that rock and off I went. Bruised and battered, I slowly picked up my bike and brushed myself off. As I told my husband what happened, I told him I repeated to myself over and over again not to hit the rock. Yet that is exactly what I did. My husband told me that when you are riding you always look where you want your bike to go, not where you don’t want it to go. Instead of focusing on the boulder on the trail, I needed to focus on the trail.
I believe this is a way we can help ourselves on the road to healing after we have lost our children. I remember praying, “Lord, I don’t know how I can live on without my daughter here on this earth. You are going to have to lead me on the path to healing. I just have to trust that You will help me.” It is a trap we can find ourselves in if we continually tell ourselves we have no way we can live on without our child. Satan would like nothing better for us than to only see the boulder. In our grief sometimes that’s all we can see. We do have to grieve and mourn, but we also have to look at where we want to go on that trail. We need to set our hearts and minds on the hopeful path of healing, be it ever so slow. It takes courage to ride on that trail of grief. There are things that will get in your way to bruise and batter your soul. Just keep on going, looking at where you want to go. Be intent to heal and watch what the Lord will do.
In his book, Understanding Your Grief, Alan Wolfelt writes,”When you set your intention to heal, you make a true commitment to positively influence the course of your journey. You choose between being what I would call a passive witness to your grief or an active participant in your grief.” You might tell yourself, “I can and will reach out for support in my grief.” I feel hopeful that someday I can and will survive this loss. We must gently and lovingly confront our grief. We must not be afraid to express our grief, to not be afraid of tears and profound feelings of sadness. We must not pull down the blinds that shut out light and love.
Lord, You tell us you have plans for our lives, not to harm us to, but to prosper us. Help us to look forward to that, even as we struggle to see beyond the boulder.
- Michele
