1 Peter 1:6 “In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.”
My daughter, Katie, was seventeen years old when she passed away. On July second, two thousand and fifteen, she will have been gone longer than she was here with us on earth. It is another one of those markers that we continue to face as we live on without our child. We are told about heaven that no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those who love Him. It is hard for me to even comprehend in my earthly mind what she must have accomplished during those eighteen years in heaven. I can’t wait until I see her again.
I too will have many things to share with her about my life here on earth after she left. Lessons I have learned here on earth that I am not sure I would have learned had she not gone to heaven. Though it pains me to admit that fact, the most important lessons we learn most often come from our darkest moments. As I questioned God’s will after this loss, over and over again I have come to understand His deep love for me as He continued to comfort me. He many times met me in my darkest moments with placing just the right person who had just the right words to lift me up. My awareness of how much I am loved by others and how much I cherish those I love became more evident through my loss. I am so much more appreciative for those who add color to my life every day. It is in the trenches of loss where I came to understand what truly is important and what the word trivial really means. I learned how little control I truly have over the most important things in my life, my loved ones. All the worry in the world could not stop the death of my daughter. I have learned to be more compassionate and I have a renewed sensitivity to the losses of others because I now have firsthand experience of grief. It has given me a purpose to reach out to others who find themselves dealing with a loss. I think what I am most surprised about is that I am much stronger than I ever thought I was. I have survived something I thought would have killed me. There are so many other things I will be able to share with my daughter when we finally meet again. I know she will be proud of what I have done with her life after her death. It has not been an easy eighteen years without her, especially in those early years in the trenches. I would not be who I am today or have the life I live now without both the life and
the death of my precious daughter. They both have made me the woman I am.
Lord, oh how I hate the trenches of life, but oh what sweetness there is to be found there.
– Michele
