Luke 2:51 "Then He went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But His mother treasured all these things in her heart."
Jesus was only twelve when he branched out on His own. She had carried this boy as a baby for nine months and raised Him to become a man. One day Mary realized she had to let Jesus go and be about the Master’s plan. She had to have many mixed emotions letting go of her baby boy. Scripture tells us she treasured all these things in her heart. I can only imagine the memories she would have watching her little boy grow up into becoming the man Jesus. I am sure she was changed as a woman as she saw firsthand all He was.
It is another Mother’s day morning. Each Mother’s day comes with a different awareness of not just what has been lost but also how much more I have gained by being Katie’s mom. In those early years of my grief, I have to say, the meter in my heart seemed to register higher on the lost side. I longed for her physical presence here with me. I not only felt the absence of her physical presence but continually, other parts of what she contributed to my life were revealed as I walked through my grief. It is the simple things I miss so much; I long to hug her and catch a glimpse of her sweet smile. What I wouldn’t give for just a simple conversation of how her day went.
I have lost so much in my loss. What I have gained is beyond measure and almost hard to put into words. I, as her mother, have seen every part of me gone over with a fine tooth comb. Who she was has made me is who I am. They say when a mom is caring her little one inside her womb, the baby can feel the rhythm of their mom’s speech. Our babies are so interwoven within us that their cry after they are born takes on the same rhythm pattern as our speech. God in His infinite wisdom reminds us even in this how interconnected we are even before birth. Wouldn’t we be even more interconnected after their death? I feel once again I am carrying her inside of me. This time I am not carrying her physical body but her spirit of who she was. She is once again en twined with me. The cry of my heart is to carry out the rhythm of her life. The sound of her voice plays in my mind as I carry her deep within my soul. I hear her telling me, "Mom, you are alive – make my life matter."
Lord, we thank you for these children who blessed us and called us mom. I pray we treasure all that they were.
– Michele
