There has been a heavy burden in my soul since the death of my child; even though I sleep at night, when I wake up in the morning I am bone tired before the day has even begun. I am weary and worn out by the end of the day, and when I fall into bed each night, my soul is troubled and I know I have lost my peace, I know I have no joy, and I must ask myself, am I believing God’s Word? This scripture is an open invitation to all who hear, however, it is phrased in a way that the only ones who will respond to the invitation are those who are burdened by their own spiritual bankruptcy and the weight of trying to save themselves, the ones who are attempting to control their emotions, and keep up with the daily grind of doing good. The stubbornness of humanity’s sinful rebellion is such that without a sovereignly bestowed spiritual awakening, there are those who will go through life refusing to acknowledge the depth of their spiritual poverty. This verse promises rest from the endless, fruitless effort to save oneself by works and good deeds. It speaks of a permanent respite in the grace of God that is apart from the law. And in reality, isn’t that what we all long for, someone to come and rescue us from having to work so hard?
Exodus 33:13-14 says, “If You are pleased with me, teach me Your ways so I may know You and continue to find favor with You. Remember that this nation is Your people. The LORD replied, ‘My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.’" In this passage, Moses clearly understood that without God’s presence, Israel would not be a people set apart from other nations. He continuously and earnestly sought the Lord for direction, for confidence, and for guidance, and he became a role model as an intercessor before God for a nation who was referred to as “Your people.” Sometimes, we take our own spiritual sanctification process and we over think it. Oswald Chambers said, “God can never make us into wine if we object to the fingers He chooses to use to crush us.” Honestly, I don’t like what is occurring in my life; I am still reeling from the fact that my son was taken from me so suddenly and so tragically, and I want to blame somebody for my pain and my sorrow and my grief. It doesn’t matter that God has brought me to a place that I have become so utterly dependent upon Him and am so providentially broken and poured out that there is nothing left within me except for His presence. It seems that I still want justice, I still want someone to pay, but mostly I want peace and rest for my soul. And here lies the true battle I am suffering; I am torn between wanting peace and wanting revenge. I am losing my joy as a result of my unrest and unforgiveness.
Matthew 11:29-30 goes on to say, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." What I really need to do is trust in the One who loves me with an everlasting love, who delights in me and who takes joy in the very person I am. I don’t need to do anything more; He has done it all for me; His redemptive work on the cross was all it took and He said, “It is finished.” The end. There is no more I need to do; His justice will shine; this yoke I am carrying is not one He has meant for me to carry. I must lay down my heavy burden and then, and only then, will I find rest for my soul.
– Melody
