Grief is that horrendous burden that invades every facet of my being and my circumstances when death separates me from someone I have deeply loved and committed myself to. Mentally, emotionally, physically, relationally – I am stretched, torn, and broken. My ability to respond to what is left of life is contorted and minimized. Grief has been described as a fog, a darkness, a deep hole of sadness, an oppression. For many, God seems distant and detached. And the questions scream at us. Grief can be complicated still more when negligence, guilt, murder, or suicide leave us with extended issues to face and to walk through. Secondary losses accumulate when a spouse isolates or walks out, when the needs of other family members demand our response and we have nothing to give, when friendships, finances, the security of a place to live or a job are all infringed upon. Grief brings a keen awareness too of earlier losses and deepens the abyss of loss that lays in the future – loss upon loss. And for one who has never walked a journey of grief, my words may seem empty, but for the one who journeys with her burden, my words affirm her harsh reality.
Grief is desperate for an answer – an answer that will take away the pain, but still allow for the warmth of memories, a sense of presence, and an assurance that somehow, some way, tomorrow can be different. The practical answers are there – support groups, a caring, godly friend, even a counselor, taking the small steps and acknowledging them, guarding our own health, even a warm cup of tea, accumulating good nights of sleep, finding a purpose to support, a place to give and encourage someone else who walks their own unique journey of need. And the practical answers do help and in time, they need to be embraced. But to fully embrace the practical, and more importantly, to begin to find an inner healing that has the courage and the capacity to walk forward into my tomorrows – those answers come only with God and the hope He promises.
An acrostic for hope can help us grasp it more fully.................
H ...... Hope looks Heavenward.
O ...... Hope looks Heavenward with openness.
P ....... Hope looks Heavenward with persistence.
E ....... Hope looks Heavenward with expectation.
To look Heavenward is to believe that somehow, some way, God does have answers for me. To look Heavenward is to have a God-focus and a God-dependence. To look Heavenward is to realize, I can’t walk this journey by myself and God is the only answer who is fully capable of walking with me. To look Heavenward with openness gives me the freedom to come to God in the reality and rawness of my emotions, my thinking, my darkness – and to be totally honest with Him with my tears, my questions, my insecurities, my fears. Persistence is the over and over and over of going to God, knowing He always welcomes me, knowing He cares, knowing He understands, knowing that even if I walk away for a few hours, a few days, or a few weeks, He wants me to come back. Persistence is the over and over and over of letting God do what I know I can’t. And to look Heavenward with expectancy realizes God is able to do a work in me beyond my understanding. Although God is capable of “fixing things,” He doesn’t always do it. He changes me. He gives me the expectancy of Heaven itself. He helps me come to the place of realizing that although life will never, ever be the same, it can still be good.
HOPE. The Godward look of openness, persistence, and expectancy. HOPE. Experiencing God when life doesn’t make sense. HOPE. Looking for the good, and knowing it is still there.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: Psalm 23:1-6)
