Psalm 18: 2 “The Lord is my Rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
I open my eyes and turn to the clock, afraid to see the numbers. It reads 12:30. I am in one of those times of sleep deprivation. So I lay and toss and turn with the mind on overdrive. This mind in darkness can create mountains out of molehills. Why does everything seem so gigantic in the darkness? I finally decide to crawl out of bed at 3:30 to find relief in my Bible. I find it through the person who killed the giants in his life. As I read the psalm, I wonder if David too was struggling with rest. He was crying out to God as he wrestled with his thoughts. He asked the Lord, “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts, and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long, Lord? Will You forget me forever?” These nights of tossing and turning, I feel like David. I feel the enemy is trying to steal territory that I have fought hard to win.
Knowing I will face the next day having to face my mountains sleep deprived, I cry out to the Lord for His strength. I hear His voice. I trust He will never leave me or forsake me. I know He loves me even when I am struggling in the darkness. I know I must think on whatever is true, noble, pure, lovely and admirable. Satan cannot take my hard fought territory if I do my part in this fight. I know apart form Jesus I have no good thing. So my day will begin quicker than I had planned and with lack of rest, I turn to the One who will get me through this day. I will praise Him for He is good to me. Through the brightness of His love He can turn my mountains into molehills and slay that giant.
Lord, how long must I wrestle with my thoughts? That, my dear Michele, is up to you.
– Michele
