2 Peter 1:19 “We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the Morning Star rises in your hearts.”
As I have matured and grown in my relationship with God, my understanding of God has changed. When I was young, even though my biological father claimed to be a Christian, he used the Bible to scare my sisters and I, and he painted an image of a mean ogre in the sky who would swoop down and smash us like little ants, striking us dead, if we didn’t obey, if we told our secrets, if we didn’t act like he expected us to act, and I grew up with an unhealthy fear that I would go to hell when I died. I have always had an overwhelming fear of death as a result, but as I’ve come to know who God is and how much He loves me, my belief that God was ashamed of me, that He was mad at me and that He had abandoned me as a child is now gone. I have found that as a result of the traumatic events of my childhood, God has enhanced my spiritual senses and I have become more aware of spiritual truth. It’s almost like the Lord gave me this beautiful gift to compensate for the ugliness that occurred in my life, and the nearness to the things of the Lord are sometimes more vivid and more apparent to me than to other people. Joni Erickson Tada, who became quadriplegic as a teenager as a result of a diving accident in Chesapeake Bay, describes her paralysis as the best thing that ever happened to her, and her wheelchair as a gift of grace. I understand what she means because as I look back on that little frightened girl who now has become an adult, as I have reconciled myself to her and to my past, I can honestly say I am so thankful for the gift of spiritual insight that suffering has produced in my life.
Joshua 3:4 “Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before.” Everything that occurs in life is new and different, and with every new step I walk on this earth, I must take into consideration that “I have not passed this way before,” whether it is a job, a relationship, a new baby, a church, an exercise program, a hobby or the death of my child. All of these events are new to me and when I arrive at each of these events, God will direct me in everything I need to do.
Isaiah 60:2 says, “See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and His glory appears over you.” God has strategically placed His children into families, companies, the marketplace, hospitals, schools and situations so as the world becomes darker, His glory will shine brighter in those who belong to Him. In these last days the scriptures talk about how there will be darkness, and the world as we know it is becoming increasingly more evil, increasingly darker, and as wickedness prevails and goodness diminishes, the scriptures are being fulfilled right before our very eyes. Believers who are alive when Jesus returns will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only truth, the only light that shines in the murky darkness of this fallen world is the Word of God and those who have hidden His Word into their hearts. I have found that the goodness of grief and the grace of suffering has flooded my senses with what is truly important. I look around and I see nothing but petty and trivial things and the flood of my sorrow seems to penetrate and blast its way through the smoke and mirrors and anything that is not real. I have a sense of nearness to God’s kingdom and to eternity like never before; it’s almost as if the death of my child has amplified God’s still small whisper to a roar in my soul that is telling me there is a sense of urgency, that I must be aware, that I must decrease, that He must increase, that there is more to this life than just the mundane trivial things that have no meaning anymore and that Heaven is closer now than ever before. Perhaps it is my longing to be where my child is and to be relieved of all the burdens and cares that have tethered me to this earth, or maybe, just maybe, the time is so very near that I can sense the day dawning and the Morning Star rising in my heart.
As I have matured and grown in my relationship with God, my understanding of God has changed. When I was young, even though my biological father claimed to be a Christian, he used the Bible to scare my sisters and I, and he painted an image of a mean ogre in the sky who would swoop down and smash us like little ants, striking us dead, if we didn’t obey, if we told our secrets, if we didn’t act like he expected us to act, and I grew up with an unhealthy fear that I would go to hell when I died. I have always had an overwhelming fear of death as a result, but as I’ve come to know who God is and how much He loves me, my belief that God was ashamed of me, that He was mad at me and that He had abandoned me as a child is now gone. I have found that as a result of the traumatic events of my childhood, God has enhanced my spiritual senses and I have become more aware of spiritual truth. It’s almost like the Lord gave me this beautiful gift to compensate for the ugliness that occurred in my life, and the nearness to the things of the Lord are sometimes more vivid and more apparent to me than to other people. Joni Erickson Tada, who became quadriplegic as a teenager as a result of a diving accident in Chesapeake Bay, describes her paralysis as the best thing that ever happened to her, and her wheelchair as a gift of grace. I understand what she means because as I look back on that little frightened girl who now has become an adult, as I have reconciled myself to her and to my past, I can honestly say I am so thankful for the gift of spiritual insight that suffering has produced in my life.
Joshua 3:4 “Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before.” Everything that occurs in life is new and different, and with every new step I walk on this earth, I must take into consideration that “I have not passed this way before,” whether it is a job, a relationship, a new baby, a church, an exercise program, a hobby or the death of my child. All of these events are new to me and when I arrive at each of these events, God will direct me in everything I need to do.
Isaiah 60:2 says, “See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and His glory appears over you.” God has strategically placed His children into families, companies, the marketplace, hospitals, schools and situations so as the world becomes darker, His glory will shine brighter in those who belong to Him. In these last days the scriptures talk about how there will be darkness, and the world as we know it is becoming increasingly more evil, increasingly darker, and as wickedness prevails and goodness diminishes, the scriptures are being fulfilled right before our very eyes. Believers who are alive when Jesus returns will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only truth, the only light that shines in the murky darkness of this fallen world is the Word of God and those who have hidden His Word into their hearts. I have found that the goodness of grief and the grace of suffering has flooded my senses with what is truly important. I look around and I see nothing but petty and trivial things and the flood of my sorrow seems to penetrate and blast its way through the smoke and mirrors and anything that is not real. I have a sense of nearness to God’s kingdom and to eternity like never before; it’s almost as if the death of my child has amplified God’s still small whisper to a roar in my soul that is telling me there is a sense of urgency, that I must be aware, that I must decrease, that He must increase, that there is more to this life than just the mundane trivial things that have no meaning anymore and that Heaven is closer now than ever before. Perhaps it is my longing to be where my child is and to be relieved of all the burdens and cares that have tethered me to this earth, or maybe, just maybe, the time is so very near that I can sense the day dawning and the Morning Star rising in my heart.
