Psalm 126:2 “Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, ‘The LORD has done great things for them.’”
This year will mark my twenty-fifth year living here on earth without my daughter Katie. It has been a long journey filled with tears of immense sadness, but also tears of amazing joy. It is a road well traveled. This well traveled road has taught me so much about myself and so much about my Savior. Even in my darkest days when I wondered where He was, I can look back and see He was there every minute. In the time right after Katie died, her high school decided to offer a scholarship in my daughter’s name, The Katie Paul Memorial Scholarship. The ironic thing about this scholarship is my daughter was just an average student in high school. Her chances of ever receiving a scholarship were slim to none. How funny of the Lord that for twenty-five years her name has been called out at each high school graduation.
Our greatest fear as a parent after the death of our child is people will forget who they were. The Lord took great lengths to make sure she will not be forgotten at her high school. The last twenty five years her name has been spoken with a little tribute about who she was. Nothing is said about her GPA. What they do hear about is her love of the Lord and the love she had for others. I think back twenty-five years ago and the Lord looking down on me in my brokenness. I know He was thinking, “Just you watch, Michele, what I am going to do in your daughter’s life. Miracles will happen. There will even be a scholarship given out yearly where they will not only know about her, but most importantly they will hear about her Lord who she loved and who loved her.”
This year the Lord once again has shown His faithfulness. My heart was overwhelmed with joy as I found out the recipient of her scholarship this year has a connection to my daughter. The recipient’s father graduated with my daughter and he knew her. They were friends so I am sure he sees the irony in this too. I am sure Katie is looking down from heaven and can’t wait to tell me, “See, Mom, all the lecturing and worrying about my grades and I walked away with a scholarship with my name on it and they get to hear about Jesus.” Makes me laugh thinking about it.
Casting Crowns sings about leaving a legacy. I pray I live my life so that when I am gone, people will know the name of Jesus:
And I, I don't want to leave a legacy.
I don't care if they remember me --
Only Jesus.
And I, I've only got one life to live.
I'll let every second point to Him --
Only Jesus.
All the kingdoms built, all the trophies won,
Will crumble into dust when it's said and done,
'Cause all that really mattered --
Did I live the truth to the ones I love?
Was my life the proof that there is only One
Whose name will last forever?
And I, I don't want to leave a legacy.
I don't care if they remember me --
Only Jesus.
And I, I've only got one life to live.
I'll let every second point to Him – Only Jesus.
– Michele
