There are times when life falls in raging wave after wave, overpowering, drenching, fury crashing waves silhouetted against a darkened sky. The tranquility of the familiar beach disrupted by the pounding rage, the sand sinking and receding, the noise deafening. The light, a longed for reality. Waves of death, and the threat of death. Waves that force separation and change. Waves of fear and the unknown. The waves that question. Who am I? Where am I going? How do I cope? The insecurities of relationships and the unraveling of plans and dreams. If my description sounds exaggerated, overly dramatized, be thankful for the calm that is yours. Many know the calm for a season, but then the storm descends, sometimes abruptly, and sometimes seen on the horizon, threatening its certain approach.
Having my own questioning waves, I reflected over the previous months that were seeming to leave me in a funk, my feelings caught up with the noise of all the waves that had been crashing. Change was certainly on the horizon, and the much, feeding into that change, was bringing busyness as well as apprehension amidst the void of careful planning and a known outcome. Health needs had been disrupting sensibilities and capabilities while raising concerns about what today’s health needs mean for tomorrow. Fresh beginnings had faced upheaval. Expected routines were being replaced. For too many we knew and loved, life had come to a close, and grief surrounded us. And I tell my own story in generalities because many of you relate and you too can tell a story.
How do we quiet the storm? How do we move from funk and feelings to a pulsing reality of light and hope that helps us endure the storm and find the calm of warmth and security? We see a living, breathing example with the disciples in the boat with Jesus when they are all suddenly thrown about and drenched with the unexpected storm. Even with the knowledge of Jesus’ presence, feelings and funk dominate until the disciples desperately cry out to Jesus, and it is then, calm quiets the winds and the waves.
In my Bible, five different names are inked in the margin alongside Psalm 34. Five different names, each representing a life being tossed by the storm. And I read the Psalm again. I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened ... Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing. ... The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help. ... The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. God’s help comes in His listening presence. Even in my desperation, as I call out to simply taste of His reality, I will find His goodness, even in the midst of a storm that persists, and sometimes, they do. Sometimes, we must linger patiently in His presence, but the light will come, He will steady my feet on solid ground, helping me to walk forward, giving me a new song to sing. And when we least expect it, we will look around as the disciples did -- and find the calm.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: Matthew 8:23-27; Psalm 34: Psalm 40:1-3)
