It is that time of year as we open up our containers of Christmas decorations, we also open up a treasure chest full of memories. Memories of children excited as they unwrap each ornament that has not seen the light of day for a year. The joy that came on Christmas morning as we watched our little ones, eyes barely open, dashing with excitement to see what goodies the man in the red suit had left them. One of my favorite memories I have with my daughters were the days we spent baking cookies for their friends and the happiness that was on their faces when they delivered them. I remember the days with immense pleasure and in my memory, a time that was perfect.
In my memory those times seemed perfect, but yet, I do recall it was also a time when I was in a frantic time of busyness. A working mom with two kids, spinning my wheels, trying to accomplish all I felt needed to be done, to make the holidays just right. Traditions that became a must-have and really had nothing to do with the birth of Jesus.
As time has gone on I have let go of some of these traditions. Some because my surviving daughter has moved on to do her own family traditions, and some I found have just not brought me the sense of joy they once did. Some traditions I have found to be just too painful. I have kept the traditions of a tree and the manger because they still have great meaning to me. Years of decorating the tree and placing just the right Christmas ornament in exactly the right place brings a smile to my face. My manger scene reminds me of the true meaning of Christmas, a Savior who became a man and died on the cross for my sins.
These same memories that bring a smile to my face also bring a feeling of an undeniable hole that has been left in the absence of my daughter. That is never more evident to me than when I receive those family Christmas cards. It is wonderful to see families intact, but the sending of Christmas cards with my family’s picture on it came to a sudden halt after the death of my daughter. I cannot bear to send out a family picture that is missing someone we all held so dear.
We always need to be kind to ourselves and that is never more important than on those days that hold special memories for us. Sometimes traditions need to be set aside because they can become a minefield we know will break us apart. When we look at our traditions to be the thing that brings us our joy, we will always be disappointed. Things change in life and with that our traditions must follow. Life will go on. December 25 will march forward if we decide we just cannot do things the way we used to. Who knows, you might find a simpler and more meaningful way to celebrate. We might find it is more about the being of Christmas than the doing of Christmas.
Lord, two things we know; life never stays the same, but Lord, Your love for us never changes.
– Michele
