Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.”
As I turn my heart to the Lord this morning, my soul is filled with a mixture of emotions, a combination of gratitude and sadness. Today is my birthday and as I reflect on who I am and consider my journey on this earth, I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my God who has radically changed me into the woman He has intended me to be. My life is beautiful and amazing. I’m so incredibly blessed with a job that I love and a boss who is remarkably exactly what I have always prayed for, a lovely home, financial stability, wonderful friends, two loving dogs and perfect health. But, for some reason, on this day, I tend to look at what it isn’t and what I don’t have. Ten years ago today, we took my 22 year old son, Elisha, off life support. He passed away six days later, on June 19, 2015. My birthday has never quite been the same.
It’s so easy to go down a rabbit trail once I begin to focus on what I don’t have instead of being grateful for the blessings the Lord has provided. So here I went spiraling into the negative thinking in my head. I woke up this morning feeling lonely since I am a single woman who longs to have a lifelong companion to share my life with. I went out to the barn to get a couple of buckets of dirt to fill up a newly planted palm tree that had been uprooted as a result of some heavy storms. I tried to sweep the pool, which had overflowed with muddy water from the torrential rains. I sat in the hot tub and thought about my day, I would be flying out to San Diego in a few hours to spend the weekend with my son, my sisters and my friends, but I really wanted a special person in my life to come with me, but that didn’t happen. Do you see where this is going?
Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice today and be glad in it.” Then I sat down to spend some time with the One who has always been my constant companion and boy, did I get convicted. My first thought after I read these scriptures was how did I lose my peace? I have the most faithful, devoted Friend a person could have, Jesus. I am not alone, He is always with me. I have a huge barn filled with tools and things that I need and He has equipped me with everything I need to take care of things. I have a beautiful pool to sweep and in a few hours my son will be picking me up at the airport and we are going to the Fair. I have hotel reservations with my sisters on the beach in Coronado and my friends are meeting me for dinner tomorrow night. And just like that, my mind shifted back to a sense of excitement and anticipation of things to come because this is the day that the Lord has made, and when my mind is steadfast upon Him, I am in perfect peace.
-- Melody
