I must

“I Still Believe” is a story that blends a purity of young love with the strength and vibrancy of a strong, but simple faith, and with horrendous tragedy that screams out in its pain, but in the midst of pain, it falls broken into the compassionate arms of the God who is real and never, ever, without purpose. Jeremy Camp, prolific, best-selling Christian singer and songwriter, was just starting out as a college student when he met Melissa, and the love story begins to unfold. Their love crashed into the destructiveness and anguish of a ravaging cancer, but that love flourished. Melissa spoke words that looked beyond her impending death when she said, “If just one life is changed because of what is happening to me, it will be worth it all.” Jeremy’s heart was ravaged with an emotional pain, just like the cancer that had ravaged his wife’s body, but like Melissa, and with her own words touching his emotional pain, his anguish fell into the arms of Jesus, and he knew, he still believed, and he walked forward with a commitment to tell Melissa’s story, so that just one, if not thousands, would be that life changed for Jesus because of her story. I watched the movie, caught up in the reality of the story, and in the vibrancy of God-focused truth that embraces us even in tragedy and brings hope and purpose. And I saw the parallels in my own life, and the life of my husband. We were only a few years older than Jeremy when our own tragedy took from us the infant we longed to hold in our arms, nurture, delight in, and watch as proud parents as she would walk the steps of childhood into becoming a mom herself. None of that would ever happen. Jeremy smashed his guitar as his pain darkened his world. My own husband was ready for a long drive on a short pier – and he voiced those thoughts. It took me much longer than it took Jeremy to watch the hope and purpose come from the agony, but even through those years of waiting with a desperation to figure it all out, God was still at work, and I too came to the place that if just one life is changed because of Tonia’s story, it will be worth it all. And in my own story, I have been incredibly blessed to watch it happen. Like Jeremy, I have longed, and still long, for Tonia’s story to be the catalyst for others to know the reality of our compassionate God. And my husband is no different. In his own perception, he sees the baby who plays and dances in the literal presence of Jesus, as still shining a bright, impacting light here on Earth, for the Jesus who carried her to Heaven. Paul told the Corinthians he sensed a compulsion to share God’s truth – the truth that had totally transformed his own life and purpose – the truth he knew had the potential to change every life that embraced it. And he was not only compelled, but he believed that compulsion was a God-given trust. I long for a heart like Paul’s. Jesus Himself said, “I must.” He had already begun His earthly ministry and when the crowds wanted Him to stay, stay and be in just one place, Jesus said no – He must keep going because that is why He was sent. He had a purpose to fulfill, other lives to touch, to change, to make a difference. May we be like Paul, and like Jesus, with a compulsion to share our God with others. May we tell our stories and share His grace. May we say, I must. And may we be willing to place the seemingly senseless, maybe still raw, tragedies of our lives, into the nail-scarred hands of Jesus, allowing Him to use them to change another life. – Bev