Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
I woke up and laid in bed with my eyes closed, listening to the waves crash on the beach. My husband had opened the wooden blinds as I began to breathe in deeply, I could smell the salty air. I opened my eyes and looked out to the ocean. It was June gloom, a Southern California term for the weather pattern that results in cloudy, overcast, skies. This was our last day in the hotel and as I glanced over at the clock it was 7:55 a.m. and I knew I needed to get going, but my mood was somber and I didn't want to get out of bed; the day had finally arrived. It was June 19th, the two-year anniversary of Elijah's transition into his internal home in Heaven. My husband had already been up for an hour; he had been quietly packing so I could sleep for a little while longer.
Our checkout was at 11:00 a.m. and he placed a steaming cup of coffee on the night stand. I got up and went out to the balcony and as I was sipping my coffee, I looked out to the beach down below. Two young boys were already in the water and I watched them as they ducked underneath the waves again and again, squealing with delight. I wish I could just stay right here all day, but I wanted to do something special to honor my child today; I just didn't know what we were going to do yet. My son Luke had taken the day off work as well, and he was waiting for us at home.
Isaiah 40 :31 says: "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." As we walked along the beach, I tried to think about the good memories, but my thoughts were consumed with the last days in the hospital. I remember I had taken some pictures the day before Elijah passed away and I wanted to remember that day, but the photos were not on my phone. A few months after he died, I had dropped my phone into the hot springs at the women's retreat and I had downloaded the photos onto my laptop, so the images of that day dance around in my head.
The LORD had been in the room with us; our little family laughed and played Monopoly; we enjoyed watching Elijah flirting with the nurses and playfully laughing as he threw his DVDs on the floor. He was his old self, free of all the medication and drugs, no machines, just our sweet lovable little boy who always showed us what unconditional and simple love really looked like. His little body was so weak, but the fact that he seemed so strong gave us all a renewed hope and even though we were mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted, that one day was such an incredible gift.
We will always be able to look back on that time and have something to be thankful for, a beautiful blessing of precious time for our family from our Heavenly Father. It is the one day that stands out on my mind as time goes on, and even though the sorrow and heartache of the fact that my child was no longer here on this earth will probably never go away, even though I will always miss him terribly and will always feel that my life was so radically changed, I will always have that sweet memory of cuddling and snuggling with my son. It's almost as if that time has begun to overshadow the images of the next painful day, a day that only one picture was taken, a day that will never be forgotten, a day that my heart was shattered and my world was shaken and a day that I felt my own life had ended, as well.
And so, as I look back on this day, the calm before the storm is what I will remember, the day the Lord my God gave, the day He became my strength and my portion, the day my beautiful child slipped into eternity where he is dwelling in the house of the Lord, healed and made whole, waiting for me to come to him so I can be with him forever and ever. Oh, what a day that will be.
– Melody
MARCH 25
A Mom’s Prayer
Luke 8:26 - 27 “So they arrived in the region of the Gerasenes across the lake from Galilee. As Jesus was climbing out of the boat, a man who was possessed by a demon came out to meet him.”
I just love when I am involved in a Bible study with other women. There is so much we can glean from one another. We read about Jesus and His disciples taking a boat trip across the Sea of Galilee to a region of Gerasenes. This area was a Gentile region southeast of the Sea of Galilee. It was known to be thriving, modern, and a vulgar area that was forbidden by Jewish law to go there. Yet Jesus defiled the law and instructed the apostles to take the trip to that region. Once they made it there, as Jesus was climbing out of the boat, right in front of him was a man possessed by demons. This man had been homeless and naked and lived in a cemetery that was outside of town. A question was asked in our study, “So, what drew Jesus to take a trip across the sea and go to an island that was off limits for all Jews?” A woman in our study remarked, “I wonder if Jesus was answering the prayer of a mother?”
That one little question has changed my perception of every story and every name that has been mentioned in the Bible. I now see the mom behind the story. Everyone in this book was brought into this world by a mother. A mother's heart has compassion and love for her child. How many other stories do we read that have a praying mom in her prayer closet crying out to the Lord for her child? I wonder how many days, months, or years this mother prayed for his soul. Was she at the end of her rope? Was her faith as tiny as a mustard seed as she watched her son delve deeper and deeper into the throes of Satan? After Jesus had healed this man, he wanted to go with Jesus and serve. Jesus had a different plan for this man. He instructed him to go home to his family and tell them everything God had done for him. I wonder why God's will for this man was to go home to his village and tell everyone what Jesus had done. Can you imagine the complete joy this mom felt as she saw her son walk through the front door healed and clothed? What a loving God to show compassion on this mom so she can see firsthand. Her child had been healed. Years of tears of a mom praying finally answered. What an amazing miracle this mom and her son could share to all those who watched her faithfully pray for her boy.
I know the heart of a praying mom as I know each of you do. I prayed often for the health and welfare of both my daughters. I have never prayed harder as when I stood by my daughter's bedside and asked the Lord for a miracle to heal her brain. I so wanted a happy ending and a return to my village with my daughter healed and what a story we could tell together. Yet my ending and the Lord's will for my daughter would take me on a journey across stormy waters. It took time, work, and many prayers to finally find my sea legs. I would return to my village alone and share my story. I know waiting in the background was my mom on bended knees praying for her daughter's broken heart to be healed. I am so thankful my mom witnessed her prayers answered.
Lord, You know a mom's heartbreak and You hear her prayers. As You died on the cross for us, I am sure you knew the pain your mother Mary was enduring as she watched You suffer. Were You praying for her broken heart as You died on the cross?
Michele
