I recently read a story of a young mom who was faced with the tragedy that the young life within her had died, and in the depths of despair, she found herself in the hospital, agonizing steps taking her past a nursery full of newborn babies, past proud parents holding all the potential of new life within their arms, her ears hearing their newborn cries, and her heart, breaking. In a quiet room of waiting, she found the tears of a compassionate nurse mingling with her own.
Hannah’s heart too was broken, her womb void of the baby she longed to hold in her arms. She faced her days with the shame of being barren, but instead of compassion, she was ridiculed and taunted by Peninnah. Peninnah – fertile, quick to produce those precious bundles of new life, busy with all the demands and delights of mothering, and Peninnah -- judgmental, arrogant, intimidating, and aloof. Peninnah – the other wife of Elkanah.
Hannah’s barrenness and brokenness took her to God. She knew she could ask, and she knew God had a heart to listen, to care, to give. She knew she “could not,” and she knew God “could.” In deep anguish and bitter tears, she poured out her heart to God. The emptying of her heart was met with the fullness of God’s love and compassion. God did for Hannah what Hannah could not do for herself, and her womb was opened, the child was given, and her spirit soared with gratitude and praise.
“Barrenness” scours our lives when health fails, finances are stretched too tautly, loneliness consumes, our homes are emptied of a husband or our children, regrets and failures taunt, relentlessly etching their judgmental scorn of nothingness within our spirits. The shame of struggling, doubting, failing, victimization, or untold secrets, fears the ridicule and arrogance of others, and even, God. Yes, there are “Peninnahs” still in our world today, and they know nothing of God’s grace or His love and compassion, but, Hannah found the safety of God’s listening presence and without hiding, or minimizing, or denying her need, she poured out her heart to Him, and He met her and responded to her.
And, even as God was still responding to Hannah’s need, Hannah’s anguish was seen by Eli, the priest. All that Peninnah refused to give, Eli gave. He listened to Hannah’s need and understood. He accepted her grief, and gave her a blessing, asking too for the God of love and compassion to respond to Hannah’s brokenness. When the need belongs to me, may I take it to the safety of God’s listening presence. When the need belongs to another, may I give as Eli gave.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: 1 Samuel 1:1-18)
