Here I am again. Waking up this morning facing another anniversary of the death of my daughter. It has been twenty years since I said my last good byes. Unplugging the machines that were breathing life and breath into her young seventeen-year-old body was the hardest decision we have ever faced. We came to understand that everything that really made her who she was had left this earth, and she was present with the Lord. I remember walking out of the hospital that night feeling like our life was over. Joy was never going to be found again. I could not imagine living another minute without my daughter, much less twenty years.
I now understand I have not lived without my daughter for the last twenty years. She walked out of the hospital with me that night. My daughter has been my motivator, my inspiration and my cheerleader. She has been the very person who has formed me into the woman I am today. She has taught me to be courageous when facing difficult circumstances. I saw her live her life with kindness and compassion for others with a humble heart. She taught me how to show God’s love to others without speaking a word but just by the way she lived.
As I have walked through twenty of these anniversaries, some have been very difficult reliving that day. Some years, I have found myself filled with joy focusing more on who my daughter was beyond that tragic day. Her life was more than that one day -- it was a culmination of seventeen years. Seventeen years of a life well lived. My life too is more than that one tragic day. It too will be a culmination of all I did before her death and up until my death. I just pray I will hear those words my daughter heard. “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
