Certain holidays – Christmas and Mother’s Day especially –
but also, depending on the traditions and the people you have shared them with,
holidays too such as Thanksgiving, Easter, 4th of July..... Certain celebrations, or memories of those
celebrations – the beach house vacation, Disneyland, baking cookies or making
tacos, birthdays, anniversaries of years still accumulating or of years that
have ended......... Certain smells,
sounds, words. Someone else’s story you
can relate all too well to. A
movie. A TV show. A book.
They elicit a part of me that sometimes, I just really don’t want to go
there. If I know ahead, that a part of
me will once again be stretched, contorted, assaulted with feelings and
thinking that are all too painful – still, even now, even after I thought I
gave them all to God and I asked Him to do a healing work within me – if I have
that awareness ahead of time, whether I actually do it or not, I can find
myself wanting to run, to hide, to forget, to do anything, something, because I
just really don’t want to go there. And
then sometimes the assault comes when I least expect it and I am alone in a
crowd of people, fighting the tears, grasping for a sense of normalcy, suddenly
fearful I will wrap myself in the cocoon again.
It is then I need the reminders that my God doesn’t
change. The God who walked with me
yesterday, will walk with me today. The
God who gave strength or courage or comfort when I was empty and raw, that same
God will give to me today. The God who
gave direction to my feet, and to my heart, and to my days. The God who brought beauty from brokenness,
the God who quieted the rage, the God who helped me sort out the lies so I
could hear, really hear, the truth – He has not changed. I am with you when the waters want to engulf
you, when the tide wants to take away your footing, when the waves threaten to
drown you. When life seems to be a
scorching fire, devouring what is precious to you while scalding your heart and
your emotions – I promise, you will not be consumed. I am your unchanging God. I love you.
I want to honor you. You are
precious to me. I call you by name. You are mine.
Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Wait patiently for me. I will turn to you and listen. I will lift you from the pit of despair, out
of the mud and the mire. I will set your
feet on solid ground and steady you.
And what God most does for me when I most need it – He wraps
His arms around me. Literally, warmly,
with security, with affection, and with the assurance that He is real and His
promises are true. Just like the mother
with her infant. Just like the father of
the teenaged boy who found out life was bigger than he thought. Just like the friend with a heart of
compassion that shares your own heart.
Just like the young child who thinks you are the greatest, the most
wonderful person in the world.
And with His arms around me, my heart quieted, my spirit
assured, I begin to sing the song my God has given me – a song for others to hear
so they too will know, my God doesn’t change.
– Bev
(Related Bible reading: Isaiah 43:1b-5a; Psalm 40:1-3)
