The turmoil of emotions was already intensifying, and I knew I needed to make a choice, with whatever capacity I had for making choices. Two choices engaged in a tug of war for my heart, my focus, my intentionality, and my energies. One choice brought a forward look and the other looked behind me, or at least, at what would soon be “behind” me. Both choices contained vast elements of “good,” and yet I could not have both, and the circumstances of life would, in essence, make the choice that would determine my footsteps. But I still had a heart choice – one that would determine my focus and my energies to a large degree, and to a lesser degree, my heart choice would determine my intentionality. As the turmoil of emotions intensified, I rode the proverbial roller coaster, and at times the twists and turns and dips threatened any possibility of the turmoil quieting. And somewhere in the turmoil, the gentle reminders whispered to my spirit. Bev, you have another choice. You can choose to look up – up to the God who has shaped in you a miracle of His grace – up to the God who has never failed you – up to the God who had promised to stay close and shape your tomorrows, just as He has shaped the past. To look up and to walk forward, enabled by the grace God wanted to supply in abundance, to look up and walk forward, meant I would grieve the loss of what would be behind, but it also meant I would find the tomorrows God had for me, even though I would grieve my yesterdays. And in the tomorrows, still very uncertain and very unknown, God would be in those tomorrows too, giving His presence, giving His joy, enabling, and never, ever failing me.
Standing with strangers, and yet, standing with strangers with whom God was already weaving my tomorrows with theirs, my own struggle and my upward choice were heard in words and music that originated with Elevation Worship. Walking around these walls, I thought by now they'd fall, but You have never failed me yet. Waiting for change to come, knowing the battle's won, for You have never failed me yet. Your promise still stands – great is Your faithfulness ...... I'm still in Your hands. This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet. I know the night won't last; Your Word will come to pass. My heart will sing Your praise again. Jesus, You're still enough – keep me within Your love ....... I've seen You move, You move the mountains, and I believe, I'll see You do it again. You made a way, where there was no way, and I believe, I'll see You do it again.
The thirst of the psalmist and the satisfying of his thirst echo similar words. As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be ... Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my Savior and my God! ... But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life. ... I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my Savior and my God!
My own turmoil is quieting. I have chosen to look up, and I have chosen to remember. I have been remembering who I am. I am His eternally loved and forgiven child. Still, I can’t maintain my choice or walk forward in my own ability. But God has never failed me. He is the one who can strengthen my choice. He is the one who can enable me to walk forward. God can. I will let Him. I will remember His presence. I will remember what He has done in the past, and I know, He will do it again.
(Related Bible reading: Psalm 42: 1-11)
Standing with strangers, and yet, standing with strangers with whom God was already weaving my tomorrows with theirs, my own struggle and my upward choice were heard in words and music that originated with Elevation Worship. Walking around these walls, I thought by now they'd fall, but You have never failed me yet. Waiting for change to come, knowing the battle's won, for You have never failed me yet. Your promise still stands – great is Your faithfulness ...... I'm still in Your hands. This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet. I know the night won't last; Your Word will come to pass. My heart will sing Your praise again. Jesus, You're still enough – keep me within Your love ....... I've seen You move, You move the mountains, and I believe, I'll see You do it again. You made a way, where there was no way, and I believe, I'll see You do it again.
The thirst of the psalmist and the satisfying of his thirst echo similar words. As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be ... Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my Savior and my God! ... But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life. ... I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my Savior and my God!
My own turmoil is quieting. I have chosen to look up, and I have chosen to remember. I have been remembering who I am. I am His eternally loved and forgiven child. Still, I can’t maintain my choice or walk forward in my own ability. But God has never failed me. He is the one who can strengthen my choice. He is the one who can enable me to walk forward. God can. I will let Him. I will remember His presence. I will remember what He has done in the past, and I know, He will do it again.
(Related Bible reading: Psalm 42: 1-11)
