Psalm 103:1-5 “Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name. Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all His benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.”
As I sat in the wee hours of the morning in my prayer room, my eyes settled on the unending electronic photographs of my beautiful child and I watched contentedly as each picture slid through the frame. This morning as I looked intently at each photo, instead of the usual feeling of wistful nostalgia, there was something different in my soul. I began to look past Elisha’s funny little smile to the background of each picture and all of a sudden I grew incredibly thankful for all the wonderful places we had gone, all of the beautiful memories we had created and all of the abundant blessings the Lord had bestowed upon our little family, by not only giving us this special little boy, but also for the resources He provided for us to go on some pretty amazing trips. We had been all over the United States, including Kauai and Maui; we had gone to New York, Washington, D.C., and Disney World; we had been riding in the sand dunes since our children were very young, but some of the sweetest memories on the digital picture frame were right here in our own home. Instantly, I became grateful for the years the Lord had given us with Elisha and for all the joy he brought to our family. Because of his disability, he didn’t understand that he was suppose to smile for the camera; no, he was looking at me in all of these pictures and all of these photos captured the essence of how much he loved me. His face lit up every time I entered the room and he made me feel like the most important person in his life, and that’s because I was, at least at that very moment.
Matthew 6:33-34 says, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” I was up early this morning because I was worried. I had been tossing and turning for the past hour and decided to just get up, and as I opened the Word, this scripture was what the Lord gave me. How appropriate. I thought about my child and how he never, ever, worried about a thing. He knew we always had his best interests at heart and he was so trusting that no matter where he went, he knew he would be well cared for and he would be safe. Why? Because I made sure of it. I made sure that no one ever entered his world who did not take great delight in who he was, who appreciated what he brought to the table and who took pleasure in just being in his presence. He was really easy to love because he was always happy; he never talked back because he was non-verbal and he always had a big hug to give. As I pondered this scripture, I thought about my own relationship with my Heavenly Father. I knew that, unlike Elisha, I was not easy to love; in fact, I had been pretty moody these last couple of weeks. I had done a lot of complaining and I certainly hadn’t been very nice to my husband, and all because I was worried about the future since my job that I had been at for 20 years was coming to an end.
I looked over again at the electronic photos and the unending grin of my child who now lives in Heaven and there was a peace that entered my heart that had not been there these past few weeks. Only I knew about the struggles that weren’t captured in these moments; only I knew about the tears and fears where photos were never allowed, but I didn’t think about all that now; all I could remember was the fun, the laughter, the contentment and the unending pleasure of being his mom. And that is exactly how it is with my Heavenly Father when I look up into His marvelous face, I am captured by the essence of how much He loves me; He makes me feel like I am the most important person in the room, and that’s because I am, at least at this very moment. I don’t want to get up from this place and go anywhere. I want to praise the Lord with all my soul, with all that is within me, I want to praise His holy name.
As I sat in the wee hours of the morning in my prayer room, my eyes settled on the unending electronic photographs of my beautiful child and I watched contentedly as each picture slid through the frame. This morning as I looked intently at each photo, instead of the usual feeling of wistful nostalgia, there was something different in my soul. I began to look past Elisha’s funny little smile to the background of each picture and all of a sudden I grew incredibly thankful for all the wonderful places we had gone, all of the beautiful memories we had created and all of the abundant blessings the Lord had bestowed upon our little family, by not only giving us this special little boy, but also for the resources He provided for us to go on some pretty amazing trips. We had been all over the United States, including Kauai and Maui; we had gone to New York, Washington, D.C., and Disney World; we had been riding in the sand dunes since our children were very young, but some of the sweetest memories on the digital picture frame were right here in our own home. Instantly, I became grateful for the years the Lord had given us with Elisha and for all the joy he brought to our family. Because of his disability, he didn’t understand that he was suppose to smile for the camera; no, he was looking at me in all of these pictures and all of these photos captured the essence of how much he loved me. His face lit up every time I entered the room and he made me feel like the most important person in his life, and that’s because I was, at least at that very moment.
Matthew 6:33-34 says, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” I was up early this morning because I was worried. I had been tossing and turning for the past hour and decided to just get up, and as I opened the Word, this scripture was what the Lord gave me. How appropriate. I thought about my child and how he never, ever, worried about a thing. He knew we always had his best interests at heart and he was so trusting that no matter where he went, he knew he would be well cared for and he would be safe. Why? Because I made sure of it. I made sure that no one ever entered his world who did not take great delight in who he was, who appreciated what he brought to the table and who took pleasure in just being in his presence. He was really easy to love because he was always happy; he never talked back because he was non-verbal and he always had a big hug to give. As I pondered this scripture, I thought about my own relationship with my Heavenly Father. I knew that, unlike Elisha, I was not easy to love; in fact, I had been pretty moody these last couple of weeks. I had done a lot of complaining and I certainly hadn’t been very nice to my husband, and all because I was worried about the future since my job that I had been at for 20 years was coming to an end.
I looked over again at the electronic photos and the unending grin of my child who now lives in Heaven and there was a peace that entered my heart that had not been there these past few weeks. Only I knew about the struggles that weren’t captured in these moments; only I knew about the tears and fears where photos were never allowed, but I didn’t think about all that now; all I could remember was the fun, the laughter, the contentment and the unending pleasure of being his mom. And that is exactly how it is with my Heavenly Father when I look up into His marvelous face, I am captured by the essence of how much He loves me; He makes me feel like I am the most important person in the room, and that’s because I am, at least at this very moment. I don’t want to get up from this place and go anywhere. I want to praise the Lord with all my soul, with all that is within me, I want to praise His holy name.
